I Resolve...

...to not flush wipes of any kind - even flushable ones.

Gopher Balls

So my plan for the night was to have the Hoos give both girls a bath, nurse AK, and go to sleep shortly after she did.

Unfortunately, while I was nursing AK, I hear LP and the Hoos shouting, "Amy! Amy! The toilet overflowed!"

Not sure what they want me for I go running down the hall with poor, almost asleep, AK still suckling. At the foot of the stairs is a wet, unclothed LP; the Hoos expelled her from the bathroom right at the end of her bath as he noticed the toilet overflowing. "Towels! We need lots of towels!" he calls out.

I chuck towels down the stairs, make my way down and plunk AK into the exersaucer. I then pick up a shivering LP and get her PJs on. the entire time she keeps trying to jump off the changing table to go and watch Daddy, shouting, "THE TOILET 'SPLODED!"

The Hoos gives up unclogging the bath and toilet for a moment and tries to get LP ready for bed while I try to get AK settled back down. From AK's room I hear LP telling the Hoos, "I'm going to tell Eliza about the toilet 'sploding."

So much for an early night.

Too Much Drama

I just realized that I have been with my two wonderful daughters for 24 hours a day for the past 6.5 days. I am exhausted. And today it showed.

Little AK had a big spit up at the end of her lunch. As I attempted to clean her off, I removed the straps that held her in place. I then removed the tray and turned to put it down on the dining room table to continue to clean up the little munchkin. In the split second I turned, she decided to take a flying leap and did a face plant three feet down onto the hardwood floor. It was awful. And I was right there.

She immediately started crying (a good thing) and as I consoled her I didn't notice right away that her nose was bleeding. A call to the doctor was quickly placed and my big girl LP rushed into her princess boots and coat so we could rush out the door.

An hour and a half later, the good news is AK appears to be absolutely fine. Mommy is still shaky.

Now, Where Was I?

Back to the post about all of the interesting things I did before kids...

Today the girls and I met the Hoos for lunch and we ran into a friend from college at the diner. While it was very nice to see her and catch up, it felt like it must be impossible that we graduated at the same time.

When she asked us if we had any plans for New Years we just sort of gestured at the girls and shrugged, "Not really."

Maybe it doesn't sound so bad reading it, but it just really made us feel old. And we aren't old. And it isn't like we had kids early. We were both about to turn 30 when we had LP.

The reality is, we are just on different paths from our school mate. Maybe it is because she is single or maybe it is because we have kids or maybe we just have different priorities. We have plenty of other friends who are married with kids. But, for some reason we forget about those folks and instead wonder instead what people who aren't traveling in our same direction think about us. It is not like we were ever partiers or ones to go out to bars on New Years (or ever really, well, maybe if a good band was playing and I had slept late that day). But still...

QT Pies

Or How About the Time...

...I was tossed about in the mosh pit at a Green Day concert?
...or yelled out Cyprus Hill lyrics as they played at Lollapalooza?
...or I danced until crazy hours at "clubs" like Flicks and Odds in college?

No? I guess it goes to show you that life and times change. Because I have told you - at least five times - about my kid peeing and pooping on the potty. Rock on!

Did I Ever Tell You About the Time...

I met Tina Turner? My previous employer, E*TRADE, sponsored her concert series in 2000 or 2001 and we got VIP tickets and the chance to meet Tina before her performance at the Nissan Pavillion. We had to miss some of the opening act - Lionel Richie - but it was well worth it. I brought my boyfriend (the Hoos) as my date. When it was picture time I swear the guy pushed me, the one who had gotten him free tickets, out of the way to score a prime spot next to Tina.

Don't we look young? And not so great. Oh well. It is still cool.

Two Smart Cookies

LP has found a new way to confound her day care providers. Now, instead of napping during nap time, she insists on going to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Somehow she manages to pee just a little each time so they have no choice but to keep letting her go. Today she peed 11 times. This from a kid that refused to go just last week.

AK is also showing herself to be a genius. During dinner she would rhythmically pound the tray table of her high chair until LP tapped back. They spent the better part of the meal communicating by drumming. It warms the heart:)

The Short End of the Stick

The guilt is eating away at me. As you have surely noticed my last few posts have focused on LP. She has obviously had quite a significant accomplishment over the last few days and we are thrilled to pieces with her. Unfortunately, poor little AK has been getting the short shrift.

It is necessary to reap praise and congratulations on LP to reinforce her potty success. Couple this with the fact that I have to visit the bathroom with her every time she needs to use the toilet. And finally, consider that LP likes to "help, " so instead of watching me make cookies from a prime position on the floor (e.g., AK in her ExerSaucer) she actively participates.

I feel awful.

Especially since AK is starting to notice that fun things are going on and she is just a passive bystander. Now, when I leave the room to help LP in the bathroom she cries out for me. It seriously sounds like, "Hey! Don't forget about me. Your other daughter. The cute little one with the fuzzy head."

I try to spend time focusing on AK, but it is hard when LP is around. She is a constant whirlwind of activity and requests. She distracts both AK and me. On the other hand, she is often really awesome to sister. Trying to play with her and teach her things. Yesterday she complained to me, "Mommy, AK won't play this puzzle with me."

I know that AK will be asking for and getting her own in just a few short months. Can you moms out there with more than one kid just remind me that they all turn out okay, don't resent you or each other and that this is totally normal?

Huh.

Earlier this evening the Hoos pointed out to me that this potty training thing might well be one of the last major milestones for our little LP for a while. Now that she has the potential to be completely potty trained she will be so much more than our little toddler. She will be a "big girl".


A big girl who until Friday refused to go near the potty. As of an hour ago, she not only tells us when she has to go, she does into the bathroom herself and closes the door, only calling out to tell me what she has accomplished. Wow.


My big girl trying to ride her first Chanukah present of the holiday - a new tricycle from her Saba and Savta.

My Imaginary World

Today in my imaginary world, I played in the snow with LP. The same LP that peed on the toilet FOUR TIMES AND POOPED ON IT ONCE. In this made-up, mind-boggling world, between yesterday and today, there were 9 successful trips to the toilet, only one accident (during nap time), and lots of candy rewards.

Snow Days

A Hypo

Let's say, hypothetically, that I was home with the girls today due to inclement weather and we baked cranberry-walnut biscotti and Chanukah cookies that LP decorated. And, again, hypothetically, LP PEED ON THE POTTY THREE TIMES AND POOPED ONCE.

Even if, in this hypothetical situation, I was stuck in the house due to the aforementioned weather it would still be a kick-ass day, no?

Awkward

Last night was my department holiday party. Like most people, I have a like/hate relationship with this type of event. I like to have dinner with adults and maybe get to know some of the people I work with better and yet I hate the concept and being forced to spend more time with people I may or may not like.

For the portion I was there, the evening had some awkward highlights:

1. When we went around to introduce ourselves to some out-of-town guests, one colleague stood up and say, "Hi! I am [Kate Moss]! I would like to take this opportunity to let you know that I am here to meet all of your graphic needs." She is a graphic designer - not a porn star, so don't read too much in to the "graphic" part. Even knowing this, it was still odd.
2. The person toting the wine showed up more than an hour late - getting lost during the 10 minute drive from the office. More likely he was secretly hoping to make a grand entrance. He was unfortunately obliged as some other folks gave him (but really the wine) a standing O when he finally arrived.
3. As I begged off to get home to the Hoos and the girls, I walked around and said goodbye to the crowd. I am not much of a hugger, but one saccharine sweet co-worker stood up, hugged me and kissed me near my ear. I just stood there kind of stiffly. I still hear the awful echo-ey sound.
4. An Irish-Catholic colleague lambasted a Jewish colleague about confusing his kids by having "holiday" lights outside him home and not being upfront and telling his two-year old that Santa wouldn't be visiting their house. I agree with her points (but defended him and his decisions anyway), but it sure made for some horrifically uncomfortable dinner conversation.

LP's Burgeoning Vocabulary

A few of the recent highlights from conversations with LP:

1. "Mommy, can Daddy do a project with me? Because you are feeding AK." She was right, I was nursing AK and couldn't play.


2. "I'm taking my time." As she attempts to go to the bathroom in her pull-up (heaven forbid she poop on the toilet.).


3. "...from afar." LP was telling my mother about how she likes animals. It is true, she does only like them from a distance. Once she gets close she freaks out. Like poor Coco the bunny, "I don't like him on the rug. I like him in the cage."


4. "It's complicated." Explaining to me how it is difficult to put on socks with the rubbery part on the bottom so she doesn't slip and fall.


5. "I don't want them to move." As she takes literally fifteen pieces of tape to stick something to the wall.


6. "I want to decorate it." Her interest in coloring in one of the 'projects' we had created.


7. "I went to work with Mommy and I saw Kiki." She LOVED coming in to my office on Friday and checking out my cube and entertaining my co-workers.


8. "Do you want company?" Asking the Hoos as he strapped her in to her car seat and walked to the driver's seat.


9. "Nice and cozy." Her request for when we tuck her in to bed at night.


10. "These are my dancing shoes." As she stomps around in the princess boots my parents got her.

Where to Begin?

Thursday, my parents went to LP's school and did a project with her class. They then took her home and she slept over at their house. They had a great time and LP didn't much miss us.

It was odd to be home alone with AK. It was also unfortunate, because it turned out that poor AK has a double ear infection, so any time we tried to lay her down to sleep she would wake up and be upset. Poor little bunny. She is now on the mend and sleeping much better.

Saturday morning the girls had a tea party.

Sunday, LP continued work on her photography skills. A work in progress, obviously.

And last night they both posed beautifully for me, with LP even IMPLORING me to take a picture. Like I could resist?

Trees and Apples

It's funny, I don't think my kids look alike (I know others disagree) but at some point I looked like both of them. And, even though I never really thought I looked like my mom, I guess the proof is in the pudding:

There Were Three in the Bed

For the second night in a row, AK joined the Hoos and me in bed. Notice I say that she joined us and not that she slept with us. Because last night there was minimal sleep for all.

AK's cold has been resurrected in the worst possible way as evidenced by her stuffed nose, dry hacking cough, and sticky boogers. We thought she was on the mend but around 12 last night she started crying out for me. I nursed her and tried to return her to her crib, but she was having none of that. We thought that perhaps she was playing us again, just wanting to snuggle with mommy like she had the night before (seriously, as soon as she got in to bed with me on Monday night she sighed and fell fast asleep). But...since she had to keep spitting her pacifier out so that she could, you know, breathe, there was no way for her to self soothe. So, we whisked her off to our bedroom to attempt to clear her nose with saline and the snot sucker.

Fast forward four hours to see the Hoos and I desperately trying to sleep while my poor little bunny moaned. There is nothing worse than having a sick, unhappy child and having no recourse. Of course, when my alarm went off at 6:30, AK was out like a light. Ugh.

Anyway, to keep today from being all doom and gloom, let me share one of LP's new found favorite activities - turning on the lights. Since I am short we have a few step stools scattered around the house. I use them to reach things up high, LP uses them to flick the light switches on and off. She is actually very cute running around the house carrying a stool...it just gets to be less funny when she uses it to turn the lights on in the bedrooms in the morning to goad us out of bed.

New Pictures

We had a good weekend. We got some more fish for our tank, LP and the Hoos got hair cuts, LP and I had a play date, and the Hoos had some alone bonding time with AK. And we met Coco, the other Bow family's new pet rabbit. LP was not amused.

Speaking of amusing - here are some new shots of my cutie pies.

Sporting some pigtails - they stayed in for about two minutes.
Checking out the first snow of the winter.

Staying warm in the infant carrier - she looks cute, but she HATED the cover.

If You Didn't Know Us

This morning while eating breakfast, LP looked out the window and pointed out a Santa figurine on our neighbor's front lawn, "What's that?" she asked.

I told her that it was Santa Claus and she responded, "I don't like Santa Claus."

"That's okay, Santa is for Christmas."

I then reminded her, "We're Jewish, we don't have Christmas or Santa Claus."

"And," she chimes in, "we don't have candy for breakfast."

Upon hearing this from the other room the Hoos calls out, "We sound like Gremlins!"

I Survived

First, I want to acknowledge that this is my 500th post. I know, la-di-freaking-da! The blog survived, I am surviving and life is good.

Moving on...

Last night was fine. It was a very casual get together with assorted neighbors dropping in from up and down the street. There were lots of kids, most in the 10-13 range, with the exception of my kids and the kids of the neighbor that alerted us to the party. When Santa arrived, we asked LP if she wanted to go outside and see the fire truck, she grabbed her fabulous red cape and ran to the front door. She was psyched about the truck and as soon as she saw the man in the red suit she wanted to go home, she didn't even notice that he was giving out presents. When the firemen and truck left she insisted on going back inside (mostly because she was in the middle of eating a cupcake when we rushed to check out the happenings outside).

All-in-all it was a nice way to spend an hour and very convenient that we only had to walk back across the street to be home. And I never had to give LP the little present I had for her.

In other news, the girls' school pics are in! Unfortunately I have not yet gotten the proofs of them together, but here are the individual pics. If the two of them together didn't come out well, we are suckers and will likely be ordering some of these along with LP's class pic.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

This year is the first year that LP is aware of the holidays. She has taken a particulat interest in "light up trees." And who can blame her, doesn't everyone love over-the-top Christmas decorations on houses? Fortunately, our across the street neighbor seems to be vying to be a stop on a Christmas light home tour, so she can get her fill of lights without even leaving the house. This is not to say that we won't drive around looking for lit up homes too.

We have been taking every opportunity to reinforce to her that we do not "have Christmas". For example, if she says that our house has light up trees, we remind her that we have Chanukah and that means we have a menorah (when the time comes) but no lights outside.

Tonight will be a big test. For the Hoos and me.

Another one of our neighbors is having a party. It was really nice of our neighbors to invite us and it is a good opportunity for us to build relationships with the people that live around us. The party is built around the fact that Santa will be coming on a fire truck. For a donation, parents give gifts to the fire department to be distributed on an appointed date.

The Hoos and I feel pretty strongly that we don't want Santa to give LP a gift. We are Jewish, we just don't get gifts from Santa. It isn't that we don't believe in Santa, it is just that he doesn't give us presents. In fact, I distinctly remember as a kid looking out my window on Christmas Eve watching for Santa to land on my friends' roofs. I never expected him to land on ours though.

My plan is to bring a small gift for LP that we will give to her to open when the other kids get their presents from Santa. Hopefully she will not be disappointed. I am kind of hoping that she is scared of Santa and doesn't want to go near him.

I am also hoping that our neighbors don't make a big deal of it. I figure they must have an inkling that we are Jewish. But, even if they do, they still might not understand what that means to us (and why/how should they?) and that we are not just being mean by not having Santa give LP our gift.

The Hoos asked me if we should go at all if things are going to be complicated. But I think it is important that we chill with our neighbors. And, obviously, it is going to be impossible for us to avoid Christmas until LP is old enough to understand. Tis the season!

In other news, I was a good samaritan today. There was a small fire on the center median on the Merritt Parkway. I called 411, got the non-emergency number for the Stamford police, and let them know. The cop wasn't even appreciative, he cut me off, "Yeah, we know. We are sending someone." Click. Whatever, I still feel good about it.

Good...Better

A good story from yesterday:

Next to our washer in the basement is a slop sink that the washer drains into. Typically we have no problems with this set-up. Last night after LP had an accident, I put her wet clothes on the side of the sink to dry. Later on I put up some laundry, forgetting about the Tinkerbell panties and jeans resting on the lip of the sink. Some time later I came down to move the wash into the dryer and noticed water on the floor of the basement - stretched across almost the entire expanse of the basement. Apparently Tink had been knocked loose and got stuck in the drain, causing the slop sink to overflow and flood the basement. Fortunately we have a Wet/Dry vac, the Hoos had just cleaned up the basement, nothing was really on the floor, and the Hoos was a good sport. It actually turned out to only be a couple of gallons, but it still sucked.

A better story from yesterday:

I gave LP some fruit for dessert after she finished her dinner. She held up a blackberry and asked me what it was. She nodded and ate it. She then picked up a raspberry and showed it to me and said," I like these better." She then stuck it on the tip of her finger and laughed hysterically. I was amazed that she had somewhere, somehow picked up the concept of "better". She is so smart.

At Least...

1. we haven't had to take vacation time YET to nurse our babies out of their colds.
2. LP is feeling better.
3. LP is and never has been one to act like she feels crappy when she is sick. AK does and we didn't realize how much it sucks to see your poor baby looking and acting miserable. It really sucks.
4. AK is still the cutest baby ever.
5. we have 2.5 parents in the house. Seriously, the other day LP started calling AK "Honey Bear". For those of you that know me, I give everyone a nickname and I call the girls all sorts of things - Bunny Bee, Honey Munchkin, etc. Apparently it has rubbed off on LP.
6. LP likes her antibiotic, since she hates the Dimetapp and refuses to take it.
7. LP stays dry during naptime while wearing underwear, even if she has accidents during the day in other parts of the house.
8. I am mature enough to blow my snot out instead of swallowing and choking on it like poor AK.
9. the weather was kind of cruddy during the long weekend, so we didn't really miss anything.
10. LP likes the snot-sucker thing. She does it to herself while AK fights like the dickens to avoid it.

Photo from our indoor experience:

AK inventing new ways to play peek-a-boo.

More Thankful

My Thanksgiving was nice, yadda yadda.

But I would be more thankful if my entire family was not under the weather. Both girls are on antibiotics. In the last week we have paid four $25 copays at the pediatricians office:

• Monday: LP's one year check up and confirmation of an ear infection. Add to this the $30 for the antibiotic that is penicillin free and therefore not in the "cheap tier" of our insurance.
• Friday: AK doesn't like to sleep when she can't breathe through her nose. Mommy was hoping to learn about some relief for her - alas, they only recommended saline for her nose. And to call back if her fever went over 101.
• Saturday: Follow-up for both girls. LP's ear infection is gone. AK now has one. Everyone still has the snots. But you try and get a 2 year old to take fake grape flavored Dimetap. That stuff is nasty!

Oh, and no doctor appointment needed to confirm that mommy is suffering from a serious bout of the sniffles and exhaustion.

Giving Thanks

Let's keep it simple.

I am thankful for...

• My two beautiful, healthy, happy daughters;
• The Hoos, a wonderful father and husband;
• The fact that the Hoos and I both have jobs;
• The roof over our heads, in the form of our cute little house;
• The health and love of our family and friends;
• New babies (congrats to our neighbors who welcomed a daughter yesterday);
• Silly projects involving construction paper, tape and hole reinforcement stickers;
• Comfortable shoes and pants that don't need to be shortened;
• MickeyD's Sweet Tea;
• My cleaning lady, Gabby; and, finally
• Each and every hug, kiss, and peal of laughter from my girls.

Happy Thanksgiving!

First Time For Everything

On Friday I got an automated call from the girls' pediatrician reminding me about an appointment for LP today (Monday) at 9am. I stared at the phone in disbelief. Why would LP have an appointment? She was 2.5, I didn't think she had another appointment until her three year...It didn't make sense to me and I did not remember making the appointment. I called the Hoos and asked if he had made a follow up appointment when he brought LP in for her black eyes (from getting kicked in the head by the teacher a few weeks ago). He said no.

When I called the pediatrician's office for details they told me it was her 2.5 year check-up. Alrighty then...

Turns out I made the appointment on May 30, two days before AK arrived, at LP's two year check up. This is the first time I have ever forgotten an appointment I made for LP or AK.Hopefully we can just chalk this up to pregnancy brain.

In other firsts...

1. AK SLEPT FROM 8:30PM UNTIL 6:30AM LAST NIGHT!!
2. I am home alone with LP today for the first time since having AK. AK is at day care. I am happy to have time with my big girl, but am definitely missing my baby.
3. LP wore undies all morning on Saturday (and today). Even to run errands. She stayed dry. I think she must be a camel, since she never peed on the potty, despite pretending to try. I put pull-ups on for her 1pm nap and she woke up with it soaked. At least we know she has bladder control.

A Retrospective

Six weeks ago I finally finished compiling all of my blog entries for 2007 into a Blog Book, a project I thought I could start and finish during my maternity leave. I printed a couple of copies and had them cut and spiral bound at my local FedEx Office (the location formerly known as Kinkos). It ended up being a grand total of 218 5x7 pages. And it seemed to take damn near forever to put together. Mostly because on a blog you see the most current entry first, so I had to do a lot of copying and pasting to get them into the correct order. Regardless, I am quite happy with how it came out. If you want more info or want to me to email you a pdf of the final, let me know.

The most interesting thing about doing this was rereading postings from months ago. It was also weird to realize that my little AK wasn't mentioned at all last year - until about mid-November when I let on that I was pregnant. There is not one single picture of her cute little mug in the entire 2007 book - not even an ultrasound. Without the blog I wouldn't even have remembered life without her.

I am now working on my 2008 collection. And yesterday I realized that the first time LP peed on the potty was January 7, 2008. 11 months later and she still pretty much refuses to use the potty at home. Yesterday she peed in her underwear twice, or as she proudly tells people, "I peed on myself two times."

Jack Bauer Style

Back in the day, the Hoos and I were avid fans of 24. After a few seasons of watching Jack Bauer, we became addicted to Lost. Shortly thereafter we decided that one high-stress show full of cliff-hangers was all one person could stand. Needless to say, 24 fell off of our viewing radar.

However, I think AK must have gotten copies of the DVDs or something because the kid is TORTURING me (for those of you that never watched 24, the show is all about finding new ways to torture and be tortured by the protagonist, Jack Bauer, portrayed by Keifer Sutherland). She is the cutest, sweetest, most lovable little bunny munchkin. And she looks like an angel when she is sleeping. Heck, she even looks like an angel when she wakes up every 2.5-3 hours.

Last night she woke up at 1...and 4...and 6.

Sure, she doesn't cry at these times. She just kind of calls for me loudly. And when I go into her room it is incredibly adorable to see her fuzzy little head, just visible behind the bumper, telescoping around looking for me. And I wouldn't trade her and her sweetness during the day for anything. Not even some extra sleep...okay, maybe for a day...

Ummm...No

Once again AK's teacher asked me, "Do you have faster nipples at home?" And I knew that the lack of sleep was getting to me when I almost responded without thinking that they are the same speed no matter where I am.

On a positive note, when I walked into AK's class to pick her up yesterday she looked up as I opened the door and broke out into a huge grin and started laughing her deep, wonderful belly laugh. It was awesome to be recognized.

And finally, because what would a day be without a funny LP story - last night as I gave both girls a bath, I found myself saying words I never thought I would, "You don't touch another girl's [privates]."

Turning a Blind Eye

On Friday I confirmed with an optometrist that I had broken blood vessels in my left eye and while it looked nasty, there was no deeper problem. It would take two to three weeks to heal and would likely look worse before it looked better as gravity pulled the pooled blood down from the top of my eye, where it was mostly hidden by my eyelid, to the lower part of my eye.

Amazingly, my children have not noticed my condition. I know this because, first of all, no two and a half year old is polite enough to ignore it. Heck, most adults I encounter are not polite enough to ignore it, looking at me and gasping, "What happened to your eye?!"

Secondly, LP is a very empathetic person. If she sees a boo-boo, no matter how old or how nasty, she wants to kiss it. She gets upset if you don't let her kiss it. I am pretty sure that she would be kissing my eyelid every ten seconds if she had observed the injury.

As for AK, the only thing she has noticed is that I have been wearing my glasses. She frequently likes to reach up and tear them off of my head.

Today is the first day I am wearing my contacts since breaking the vessels and I am thrilled. I am realizing, however, that the glasses to some degree obscured my eye and either it looks more disgusting than ever, or I work with some pretty tactless people. Hmm...a toss up.

Delicious

FYI

The information on the girls' Daily Sheets from day care, when accurate, has the potential to be really useful.

For instance, last week when AK's sheet said that she had only drank 2.5 ounces of milk all day (while chowing down her solids), I was sufficiently warned that it would be a rough night full of feedings so that AK could make up for lost calories.

And, when LP's sheet calls out NO NAP, I know that there is a good chance that the next few hours will be not-so-pleasant for the entire family.

However, there are occasions when I am not really sure what to make of the notes on the sheet. Yesterday LP's sheet said:

During nap time [LP] likes to sit on her cot and take off her shoes and socks even though we tell her to keep them on in case of a fire drill.

I am not sure if they are passing on an anecdote or if I am supposed to try to have a conversation with LP about keeping her shoes on. I do talk to her several times a week about using her listening ears and hearing her teachers' words, but should I be specifically talking to her about her footwear?

AK also had an interesting note yesterday:

[AK] has a rattle in her chest.

This note was also accompanied by a phone call. When Miss Louise spoke to me I asked if AK was coughing or in any sort of distress and she said that my little fuzzyhead was smiling and laughing and having a good time, although her nose ran occasionally. Am I a bad mom because I am trying to pick up cues from her actions instead of her chest? Should I be rushing her to the doctor?

In addition to trying to decipher the daily sheets, I have the distinct pleasure of having burst blood vessels in my eye again. This totally sucks and makes me feel really yucky. I cursed audibly when I noticed it in the mirror while brushing my teeth last night.

These Made Me Laugh

Linda at All & Sundry posted some poems about motherhood. I was cracking up at my desk. I highly recommend checking them out. A sampling:

If you stop that screaming
I will pay you
Eleventy jillion dollars.
Really I promise
Here is a check.
_ _ _ _ _ _

Stop! Stop! Stop!
I do not like this game.
Where you pretend to be a thrashing alligator
and you are naked. On the changing table.
And I am some lady trying to put a diaper on an alligator.
Alligators don’t wear diapers.
Or was that your point?

Practicality Over Protocol

There was a time, before I had children, when I practiced proper bathroom etiquette. If I entered the ladies room and a stall was occupied with a person quietly waiting for me to leave, I would go about my business quickly. Truncating my visit, if necessary, only to return when the room was vacated.

Nowadays, time in the loo is much more precious. I never know how long I have or when I will likely be able to return. More often than not, if I do not use the facilities before leaving work I am out of luck until both girls are in bed. Unless I plan on having an audience...who likes to inspect my undergarments and critique my technique.

In other words, I have no time for niceties and politeness. From what I understand, this is not part of the "bro code". Men don't really care about bathroom protocol unless it involves standing too close. Do they actually have it right?

A Love/Hate Relationship

I can't tell if AK loves me or hates me.

She either loves me so much that she can't stand to be away from me; or hates me and wants to torture me with sleep deprivation.

She is a little over five months old and yet she refuses to sleep for more than four hours at a stretch. Occasionally we have a break-through for a night or two and I get all excited. I even refuse to blog about these little miracles for fear of jinxing myself. I shouldn't bother with the censorship.

Every night, like clockwork, AK falls asleep around 8:30. It doesn't matter if she woke up from a catnap at 8 or has been wide awake since 2, at 8:30 she conks out. This is when I think she loves me. Giving me some precious quiet time to fold laundry and make lunches without infants and toddlers under foot.

Except...

With few exceptions, every night, like clockwork, she wakes up at 12:15. And sometime in the three o'clock hour. And sometime in the 5-6 range. It doesn't matter if it is a weekday or weekend; a day I have to get up at 6:30 or that I am allowed to sleep in. This is when I think she must hate me.

Last night her sister got in on the act and at 2:45 began calling out "Daddy! Help me!" I realize that I am not Daddy, but apparently the Hoos can sleep through anything (he claims to be a light sleeper, but he is full of sh*t). I snuck into her room to find her hanging off the end of her bed. Her head is on her pillow which is resting on top of the diaper boxes we store there. Apparently she inched up her bed one inch too far. I pulled her back on to solid ground and tucked her back in. She then asked, "Sing me a song?"

Gawd, I love these little munchkins.

Let's Get This Potty Started

On Friday I had parent-teacher conferences for both girls.

AK is cute and starting to move a lot; that was basically her whole report.

Since LP is almost two and a half the teachers have a bit more to say about her. She is a great kid that is good about using her words and being independent when she wants to.

For example, when they get back from gym the first thing all the kids have to do is put their shoes and socks back on. At home, LP insists on doing this herself. At school she calls out "Help me!" I asked Miss Shauna why she thought this was. Turns out lunch is served after gym. The faster you get yourself together, the faster you can eat. Did I mention that she is wasting away? No? Well, she isn't.

As for using her words, I guess instead of asking another kid if she can play with the toy that they have, she just takes it. They want her to ask, "Are you done? No? Well, can I play with it when you are done?" Good luck with that folks!

She continues to do pretty well with potty training at school. At home she could care less. This weekend we created a potty chart and bought special stickers she could win when she used the potty. She was excited about it for all of two minutes. Then she realized that she could get free stickers - Savta (my mother-in-law) brought her a pack of stickers Friday night and Saturday she accompanied me to the bank and they gave her stickers. Sunday, the Hoos upped the ante and told her she could get her own ice cream cone Saturday night if she used the potty twice. She sat on the potty twice and I read her a million stories on the potty, but no ice cream was earned. At this point we will just wait until she is ready. Oh well.

Here is my big girl playing in the leaves. Notice that her black eyes are almost gone.

Big Mouth

LP is talking up a storm these days. She remembers everything and repeats it in the correct context (although not always at the most appropriate of times). Some recent additions to her repertoire:

• "Oh my goodness gracious!" She told me that her friend Addie taught her this one.
• "Girls have tushies; Boys have peanuts." This little gem was shared during circle time at school. She went on to confirm for everyone that boys do not have tushies.
• "Jesus Christ! I need new pants." At least we were alone in our home office when she yelled this out - she thought her pants were too tight.
• "I am sad." Me: Why? "You hurt my feelings." How? "You pushed me." I then launched into a discussion about lying that totally went over her head.
• "Baby is not listening to me. BABY DO YOU HEAR MY WORDS?!" Her poor poor baby dolls.
• Yesterday when she refused to stay on her cot during nap time and Miss Shauna threatened to tell Mommy, she responded, "And tell Daddy. And AK." Fresh, fresh, fresh.
• "I don't need a bath, I don't have a rash." You try convincing a two year old that these two things have nothing to do with one another.

Oh, and in addition to a big mouth, my little muffin has a big knot on her head. Apparently one of the teachers accidentally kicked her in the head during gym class the other day. The knot was never pretty, but yesterday her eyes got little smudges on the inside corners and look a little swollen. I still haven't exactly figured out exactly how this happened but it involved uneven bars and a dismount and LP sneaking up under the bars. According to the incident report they gave her ice and "LTC". I hope they mean TLC.

So Full

I feel so full today.

I am full of excitement at the prospect of having an intellectual as president of the United States again.

I am full of pride that Americans overcame the history and negativity of racism and bigotry to elect an African-American president.

I am full of hope that the majority of voters in Connecticut decided not to use the state constitution to limit the rights of others.

I am full of energy since AK only woke up once last night - at 2.

I am full of love for my adorable children who make each day better than the last. Meaning, let's hope that today does not include any calls from day care (yesterday I got THREE).

I am full of adoration for LP who looked through the LL Bean Kids catalogue with the Hoos this morning and pointed out all of the shoes "Mommy is going to buy me." A girl after my own heart.

I Voted Today

I set my alarm for 6am this morning so I could get up, get out and VOTE. Considering it wasn't a great night with AK, this really was tougher than it sounds.

Regardless, I am proud to say that I was a responsible citizen and exercised my right to vote. Yes, the lines were long - but not too bad. I waited for about 25 minutes. But you know what, I think long lines are a GOOD thing. People care. People who never voted before were hauling their butts over to their polling places to have their voices heard. This makes me really proud.

In addition to being proud of myself and my community, I am finding myself really emotional about the whole election. Just wondering what sort of emotion the candidates must be experiencing today. Especially Barack Obama. We really are on the cusp of something huge. How can you not be inspired...emotional...full...right now?

And to stop myself from sounding too weepy, can I just give a dirty look to the lady standing on the corner near my polling place with a sign "Vote Yes to Question 1". Question 1 is a question to allow a Constitutional Convention in Connecticut. The sole purpose for this Convention would be to ban same-sex marriages. I stared at this woman and wondered - what kind of person are you to want to deny others happiness? A person with the right to free speech. But still not the sort of person I would want to spend any time with.

A Bright Idea

Every once in a while I have a bright idea.

This morning LP really wanted to bring the balloon dog that she had gotten at Southport Brewery to school to show her friends. During Circle Time they all go around and talk about their weekends and apparently LP felt the need to have a prop. Obviously, this is a recipe for disaster. There was no way if that thing left the house it was going to come home at all - and quite likely there would be several incident reports (e.g., biting, fighting) because if it.

So, what is a mommy to do?

We took a picture and printed it for her to bring to school.

Weekend Update

Since I didn't post over the weekend, we have some catching up to do.

Friday was obviously Halloween. LP had a Storybook parade at school (this is like a Halloween parade except politically correct). Since I usually am at work and can't attend, AK and I drove over to check it out. Mistake. LP was so psyched to see me that she cried at the prospect of actually having to parade. It all worked out okay and I snuck away while she was distracted. Of course, I didn't get any pictures of her marching.

Saturday my two best friends from high school came over with their families. It was really nice to see them, even though none of us actually felt like we had time to talk to each other. Life is like that when you have five kids under three running around in an enclosed space. Fortunately, the weather cooperated and we did take a walk to Stew's. We were like some weird sort of convoy - with three strollers, one Baby Bjorn and one Baby Backpack.

LP liked showing off all of her toys and acting like she owned the place. And AK was AK, mellow and loving the company and attention. Miss Mer and KVV have some of the cutest kids on the planet. There must be something in the water at CHS.


Sunday was a chill day. Here is a pic of my and my two beauties enjoying life from the front stoop.

The Flower and the Butterfly

Sleepy Rhymes with Weepy

I love AK. She is really a wonderful, sweet, loving baby. She doesn't really have it in her to cry and I am so thankful that she is not a screamer. A talker, a whimperer, yes; but definitely not a crier or a screamer. Yet.

I feel bad complaining.

But I am so freaking tired.

Last night AK went to bed at 8:30. I fed her in her sleep at 10:30 hoping that would buy me a couple of extra hours before she next required nursing. But, no. Like clockwork she was up at 12:30. And 2:30. I think I fed her around 3:30 and the Hoos brought her in to bed with us shortly after that because he heard LP say something and was worried that AK would wake her up.

I don't think she wakes up because she wants to eat. How can she want to eat? She is eating solids three times a day and milk every three or so hours. My next plan is to start changing her every time she wakes up, hoping that she doesn't like having a wet diaper. I don't change her as often in the middle of the night (okay, or like at all) because I am worried about REALLY waking her up and I am lazy. However, if this works and I get a few more minutes of sleep (notice I am no longer requesting hours) I just might survive this motherhood thing.

Can't Fight...

Progress. Yes, it is considered progress that I only had to get up at 12:30 and 3:30 last night.

Inertia. Last night as we drove home from day care we passed the Golden Arches. LP called out "McDonald's. I like McDonald's!". Mind you, she has only eaten there once in her entire life - when the power went out and I took her there for dinner to kill some time. I guess day care indoctrinates kids about the...value? benefits? joy?...of fast food.

Time. This weekend two of my best friends from high school, KVV and Miss M, are coming to visit. Of course, considering 14 years have passed since we graduated Connetquot (go T-Birds!) times have really changed. Instead of three single chicks, we will be partying hardy with three husbands and five children between us.

First Impressions. As I type this I am having an IM conversation with one of my colleagues, Lance. It started out with my expressing some concern for my cube neighbor. Lance responded that "this isn't like you...[expressing] sympathy and empathy." He went on to comment that "motherhood is making me soft" and "Perhaps your crusty exterior is fading and the Mom side of you is becoming dominant." I am finding it so odd that his perception of me and my perception of myself are so divergent.

Little Nutbrown Hare

For those of you familiar with the children's book "Guess How Much I Love You?" it will come as no shock to read that I am almost too tired to think anymore. Hopefully I will be able to form coherent sentences tomorrow.

Master Pee

The blog title is especially appropriate given that AK is wearing this outfit today. For those of you even less hip than me, Master P is a hip-hop artist. AK is wearing a snazzy track suit compliments of friends of my in-laws. That being said, this entry has nothing to do with her outfit.

After another not-so-great night of not really sleeping, I had to wake AK up at 9:15. As I changed her she went into the "trussed turkey position." That is this adorable position that shows off her flexibility, she pulls her little feet to her chin with her knees bent. As she did this, she smiled widely at me, and realizing I was distracted by her cuteness, she proceeded to pee. A lot. And because of the position and angle, it all went behind her and not into the new clean diaper waiting below her. Awesome.

She continued to smile at me, even as I removed the changing pad cover and all of her clothes and proceeded to clean her off with a million and one wipes. As I opened a new diaper and prepared to nestle it beneath her I told her, "Don't pee again!" Of course, I jinxed it. She proceeded to have yet another full on pee.

This was no tinkle tinkle, like when LP agrees to pee on the potty and produces a table spoon or so. This was approximately a cup of pee. It pooled beneath her on the naked changing pad (remember, I had removed the cover two minutes ago after the first pee incident).

My daughter - the master pee-er.

Speaking of Eating

Thinking in Lists

There once was a sweet baby girl
who made her mommy the happiest in the world
but when she decided it not necessary to sleep
it made the mommy want to yell out [BLEEP BLEEP]

AK loves me so much that she doesn't want to waste a minute not being with me.

Despite:

1. eating a large dinner of two tablespoons of oatmeal and half a container of peaches, and
2. going to bed at 8:30 after nursing

She woke up at:

1. 12:30
2. 4:30
3. 5

And after joining us in bed at 5, she:

1. Decided to play with my face.
2. Kicked me in the belly.
3. Surveyed the lay of the land (it is actually very cute to see her doing push-ups in the darkness and craning her neck to see what is going on).
4. Ignored the Hoos to focus on harassing me.

And when she finally fell asleep around 6:

1. My arm fell asleep.
2. My alarm went off.
3. She woke up when I moved the sleeping arm to turn off the alarm.
4. I had to get out of bed to get ready for work.

The Neverending Growth Spurt

Any time there is a change in AK's eating or sleeping patterns I attribute it to a growth spurt. But, really, if it was a growth spurt every time, the kid should be about four feet tall by now.

This past weekend was wonderful in terms of AK's sleeping - she was up only once Friday and Saturday nights, at 2:30 and 4 respectively. This is AWESOME. I thought we had achieved a sleeping milestone. And I thought the solid food was really making its mark - she now has cereal (rice or oatmeal) and fruit (peaches and pears so far)twice a day. I was wrong.

Since Sunday I have been up twice a night, around 12 and then again sometime between 3 and 5. This SUCKS. Especially since I have to get up at 6:30 to get ready for work.

But then, I think about how I get to give her fuzzy little head extra kisses when I get up. And about how I get to hold her close and huddle together under a blanket so we can keep each other warm in the middle of the night. And I am (at least a little teensy bit) thankful for our extra time together. Whatever gets you through the day, right?

Conspiring during nap time

Caught in the Act

Here are two new videos of the girls. If you look closely, you can even see my new haircut!

Fed Up

When I woke up Saturday morning I had this odd sensation on my arm. A hair - one of the many falling out of my head daily - had landed on my arm and I could distinctly feel it. As I brushed it off, I made a determination. My hair was coming off.

I called Lori, our family hair dresser to see if she could fit me. "Are you going short?" she whispered into the phone. The last time we had been in, it was so LP and the Hoos could get hair cuts. The Hoos made it clear to Lori that her preferred my long hair and that he would do anything he could to keep me from cutting it off. Regardless, I responded to her in the affirmative.

I am now the proud wearer of a shorn head. Too short for ponytails and too short for little fingers to pull out. It is still falling out - but it is not nearly as messy or distracting. And, unlike after I had LP, my hair is straight again. Hormones are very, very weird things. Pictures will be posted at some point...although I would rather post pictures of the girls:)

Wanna Be My Friend?

A few weeks ago I finally caught up to the 21st Century and joined Facebook. Having a blog and having signed on to Internet banking more than eight years ago, you would have thought I would have jumped on the bandwagon long ago. I think my reticence had to do with a description I had heard early on that it was "like MySpace for grown-ups." Isn't MySpace all about Internet pervs?

I am glad to say that so far I have not encountered any pervs on Facebook. At least not any that have been open about it. I have, instead, discovered friends from high school and college that I haven't talked to in years and years.

And, despite the fact that my own life has followed the "married with kids" path, I continue to be astonished that so many of my school chums are in the same boat. Lots of weddings, relocations and babies have occurred. Weren't we all so different in high school? How did we all end up the same? And oddly, why are such a large percentage of these folks speech pathologists? It is a great career, to be sure, I just didn't realize it was so popular.

Another strange thing about Facebook is that you are the recipient of friend requests from people that you weren't even friends with years ago. Even worse, you start doing the same thing! Maybe it is curiosity that forces you to ask for access to someone's profile and photos or maybe there is some popularity aspect to see how many friends you can rack up, but at the very least I try to limit my requests to folks that I remember.

Back up to the paragraph about everyone ending up in the same boat - I can't say that is exactly true. For instance, one woman that I went to camp with, that I was sure was going to be a trophy wife (she slept on satin sheets! At 10! At sleep away camp! In New Hampshire!) is or was Lindsay Lohan's assistant. And, no, I have not requested to be her friend. I accept that I am not that cool.

Yes, Really

Yesterday after work, I had to take both girls to the pediatrician for shots. LP needed a flu shot and AK needed a make-up shot (HIB) that they were out of last week when we went for her 4-month appointment. I was a little concerned about how I was going to be able to comfort them both at the same time, but apparently I don't give my girls enough credit.

The nurse and I agreed that LP should go first because she was more likely to run away. I sat her on her lap, pulled up her sleeve and held on tight to her little hand. She watched the nurse approach with the needle and sat calmly while being stuck. When it was done she examined her Scooby-Doo Band Aid as I set her down. She made not a peep.

AK made a tiny whimper when the initial prick was made, but other than that, nothing.

I quietly turned to the nurse and asked, "How often does that happen?" I did not dare mention WHAT had happened. "With a two year old? Almost never."

As we left the doctor's office LP made a point to stop everyone we saw and tell them that she had a boo-boo and show off her Band Aid. I put the cell phone on speaker to report in to the Hoos about his strong daughters and LP called out from the back, "I got a shot. It was cool."

I swear.

Listen Up, Body!

Last evening poor little AK kept trying to nap but her big sister kept waking her up, despite her assurances, "I'm singing to [AK], mommy." Singing, harassing, it all depends on the music. Little AK was totally wiped out; so wiped out I decided not to force her through a bath. By 9 she was sound asleep.

And she slept until 4!!

This is really really awesome in case you couldn't tell from my exclamation points. Too bad my mammary glands were aching from engorgement so I couldn't really enjoy the fact that I was allowed to stay in the bed for seven straight hours (okay, six straight hours, I didn't go to bed until 10).

And, when I nursed her at 4 she finished quickly and went right back to bed!

If this happens again tonight I promise to take advantage of it and sleep like a log. Body, do you hear me?

Speaks for Itself

Knick Nack PakNak

Last week I received word that I had won PakNaks from the WMAG Review blog. I had never heard of them before, but PakNaks are these adorable little vinyl creatures that you can use to customize your kids' lunchboxes and backbacks. I guess sort of like those doo-dads that people stick in the holes of their Crocs. But way cooler.

When they arrived in the mail earlier this week, I told LP that she had a letter. She loves getting mail (who doesn't? The "ping" of a new email message isn't quite the same as ripping open a package or envelope). When she saw the PakNaks she was really really psyched. Each creature has Velcro on the back and comes with the "opposite side" Velcro patch that you can attach to whatever you want to adorn. It took a lot of physical strength to restrain LP from decorating herself with the PakNaks. We ended up putting three (Manfred, Isaac, and Tabby) on her lunch box and one on AK's (Ralph).

LP told me that she couldn't wait to show Miss Louise. And the Hoos reported that she was passing around her lunch box at school the next morning to show all of her friends the animals.

Speaking of lunch boxes, today AK's lunch box contained a box of rice cereal! We gave her her first spoonfuls Wednesday night and I had to cut her off! I wanted to make sure it didn't have any adverse impacts before giving her a full feeding's worth. Of course, LP insisted on helping me feed AK despite the fact that she was didn't want to hold the spoon still long enough for AK to get the cereal off of it and refused to stand in AK's line of sight. Poor AK was confused by the spoon full of mushy cereal coming at her from behind and quickly disappearing.

Yesterday morning and last night AK almost finished the allotted servings of cereal. And her big sister said, "I'm so proud of you [AK]." Too cute.

Winning Isn't Everything

WARNING: I'm going to get political. Feel free to ignore this post if you aren't interested.

This morning on the radio I heard a snippet of a speech that Sarah Palin gave in Florida, "Our opponent talks an awful lot about the war in Iraq and not once has he mentioned America winning." This quote really bothers me. Coupled with an article in this week's Newsweek about John McCain and his views on achieving "victory" I am really disturbed by what their election could mean for our country.

Maybe I am naive or drinking the mommy kool-aid, but, to me, winning doesn't equate with success. Success is defined by dictionary.com as the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors. Victory is defined as the ultimate and decisive superiority in any battle or contest. Personally, I would rather be successful than victorious and this is the value that I plan on passing on to my children.

Let's forget for a minute about the "War on Terror," which isn't really a literal war that can be won with any number of individual battles, rather just a figurative war that give our Commander in Chief license to bomb whoever he wants and restrict civil rights, and instead focus on Iraq and Afghanistan.

Victory solely focuses on guns and military might. Success, however, requires intellect, humanitarianism, and communication. Success would be achieved if we made those nations self-sufficient. Victory would be ours if we...what? If we destroyed an entire country, all of its people and started from scratch with a bare piece of land? Will we really have proved some sort of military superiority in having obliterated a terrorist group largely comprised of uneducated random people?

"Winning" and "victory" don't really mean much in war where the death and destruction could far outweigh any negligible "positives." What are the positives of winning this war? An intra-country morale boost? It isn't going to prove anything to the millions of people outside (or inside) of the U.S. who haven't appreciated our methods or efforts.

This has nothing to do with my support of our troops. Our troops are hard working men and women that are doing their job. I want each and every one of them to come home safe and sound and successful.

The Evolution of Advice

Yesterday AK had her 4 month check up. As expected, she is fantabulous. She is 13 pounds, 11 ounces and 24.5 inches long. She will be starting cereal this week: 1-2 tablespoons mixed with an ounce of water.

According to LP's baby book, at her 4 month check up she weighed 16 pounds, 1 ounce, and was the same length. She also started cereal at this point, 1-2 tablespoons mixed with breastmilk.

According to my baby book, I was 13 pounds, 1 ounce and 24 inches long. And eating chicken and veal.

On Command

The other day as I followed LP's command to see the "Tubbies with the jumping part," it reminded me of days long ago; that is, the period of time prior to the creation of DVRs, or On Demand, or remote controls.

I remember vacillating between being psyched and pissed when I would turn on the TV whenever I felt like it and the show I wanted to see was or was not on. I knew nothing about a TV guide or television programming. Rather, I knew that I liked the Smurfs and when I would turn the TV on a Saturday morning they would appear, in a seemingly random fashion.

Nowadays, LP can pretty much see whatever she wants, whenever she wants. I'll bet that the creators of Teletubbies that they were really smart when they would repeat segments of the show that they thought would be popular by having the Tubbies shout, "Again! Again!". Seriously, it is ingenious. It would have been even more crucial if not for the DVR. Even so, after watching "the Bear part" of a different episode, a repeated segment, I still am asked to replay it several time so LP can get her fix of the stupid animated dancing bear. Yes, it pains me.

LP honestly doesn't watch much TV, save for the same DVR'd episodes of Teletubbies, Barney, Yo Gabba Gabba!, and The Big Comfy Couch. Which is really making me rethink the whole DVR thing. She may love seeing the same shows over and over, but I sure could use some variety in my television viewing (and no, I do not mean Rosie O'Donnell's new variety show).

Our Little Family

Not the best pics, but we don't have many of just the four of us. These were taken using the timer function on our digital camera. And something I ate made my nose turn red, pretty, right?