Holding My Breath

While I was away in Vermont:

1. Connecticut got a monster snow storm
2. 75% of my family got sick

Considering there are only four of us, that pretty much means that when I came home Thursday afternoon, I was the only healthy person in sight. AWE-SOME.

If only my children had shown any sign that they actually missed me, perhaps I would have been more sympathetic to their plight. Instead, LP, who spent half the day with the Hoos at his office and half with my mother-in-law thanks to her illness, was pissed. She wanted to know why I was home early, because she would have preferred to spend more time with her grandmother.

Then, when I showed up at day care AK ignored me, focusing instead on her snack. Which was primo, because daddy doesn't usually pack lunch and felt the need to cram in a few extra snacks.

To be fair, the Hoos was really happy to see me. Both because he was coming down with a cold and because after a day being snowbound with the ladies he was jonesing for some adult company - or more likely adult assistance.

This weekend included a 2 hour wait at the pediatrician, middle of the night whining, Triaminic, Motrin, several boxes of tissues, a little puke and, for one of the crew, antibiotics. It also included a lot of time inside the house. Although, LP did get to go see Disney on Ice, which she enjoyed immensely.

To cap off the whole weekend extravaganza, this morning at 6:35, AK decided that she no longer wanted to wear her footy pajamas and insisted on changing both into a nightgown and into "un-d-wear."

Fortunately for all of us, my parents have a brief interlude in their travel plans and decided to trek up to CT to spend the day with the girls. This 1. avoids a potential call from day care should anyone relapse or degrade health wise and 2. offers some peace of mind that my babies are getting some extra TLC at a time when they need it.

As for me, some extra TLC will be coming on Friday when the girls spend the night at my in-laws so that the Hoos and I can go out to dinner. Too bad it is with his demanding clients that forced him to work 300 hours or so during the month of December.

Barking at the Bark

The leaves are turning red, the days are getting shorter - you know what that means...

Flu season!

Fortunately, we have not encountered this first hand. And hopefully we won't - thanks to the all-magical flu shot.

The Hoos got his at work last week and I made an appointment for the girls to get theirs on Saturday. Friday I told them they would be going to the doctor. LP immediately started freaking out, "I don't want a flu shot! No flu shot!"

AK just looked at her like she was crazy, "No crying, [LP]."

To make matters worse, my friend MLH reminded me that LP also needed to get a Hep A vaccination - a new state requirement.

Saturday we tried to ease the girls into the process by taking them to WalMart so they could see me get my flu shot. It was easy and actually quite painless. They even gave the girls stickers. I thought we were in good shape.

But then LP "cried" on the way back to the car. And into the pediatrician's waiting room. And into the exam room. And while she was getting weighed (40 lbs on the button). And while she was getting her temp taken. And while we waited for the doctor. And again while we waited for the nurse to administer her shot.

I had to physically restrain LP for her flu shot. I think the nurse (who was having a rough morning full of screaming, squirming children) was even more disappointed than LP when I reminded her that LP needed a second shot.

While the nurse went out to get the HepA vaccine, LP stopped crying, held her fingers very, very close together and told me, "It only hurt a little teeny bit," and then proceeded to go through the whole dramatization again for the second shot.

AK, meanwhile, was totally cool. She didn't like being holed up in the exam room, but otherwise, she (27.6 lbs) was very chill. When they gave her the shot, she didn't even flinch, just looked at the nurse and waited patiently for the process to be done. And then requested a shot on the other shoulder so she could have a matching bandage.

This picture shows that sometimes looks can be deceiving.

Counting Chickens

When I went to the pediatrician the other day, the Doctor told me that croup usually lasts 3-5 days and that day 3 was usually the worst. Since AK's fever had started Sunday and it was Tuesday, I figured I was in for a rough night. But AK slept through the night. "Woo-hoo! AK is so strong and resilient and that steroid is the bee's knees," I thought smugly.

I was so wrong.

Tuesday was likely DAY 1 of the croup. It was the first day she had croup-specific symptoms. That would make last night, Thursday, Day 3.

Worst. Night. Ever.

Actually, I guess I can't say ever, but my memory is short due to complete exhaustion and I have blacked out some of AK's and LP's newborn nights. But, I was up every hour on the hour. Her breathing was a little jagged, but she wasn't gasping. She was just needy. As in needing to see me three or four or five or SIX times overnight.

So, if yesterday was day 3 and if AK was up all night, today should be a really mellow day at home. "Lord, I hope I am right this time," she thinks, not smug at all.

It's Ruff

I worked until 3 yesterday and left to take AK to the doctor. I was seriously worried she might have strep (dang those Internet diagnoses) and was already starting to feel terribly guilty at the thought that I had been denying her antibiotics by not taking her to the doctor sooner.

When I woke her up from her long nap it was evident that everything was not okay. She sounded more like a seal than ever - she now barked in a whisper! My mother-in-law assured me she was not like that all day and I whisked AK off for Urgi-Kids.

As soon as the doctor checked her out, she knew, "Are you feeling croupy, baby?" First of all, I was glad my baby had an accurate diagnosis and course of treatment (oral steroid in the office)Secondly, I felt relief. Croup - not strep. I was reassured to hear that AK would not have been given the steroid if I brought her in earlier, since the barking was a new symptom. They would not have been able to identify the virus as croup without it.

Reading this, I know it sounds horrible to think of myself and my guilt at the same time my baby is suffering; but, as a working mom, you constantly feel like you are making compromises. You wonder if you are doing the right thing - or if your priorities are askew. The fact that the doctor was able to provide both of us with comfort is icing.

The cherry is that AK did not have as bad a night as anticipated. Around 11 I had to comfort her and get her to calm down to temper her breathing, but other than that - she slept through the night. And, it appears that her fever broke. Hopefully it will be a restful, rejuvenating day at home for the both of us.

The Heat is On

Poor little AK.

Sunday night we noticed she had a fever of 101.5. We gave her ibuprofen and put her to bed.

Monday morning she still had the fever. The Hoos spent the first half of his day caring for her (I had to go to work to unpack from the aforementioned office move) and I took over in the afternoon. I knew she wasn't feeling great because she actually took a two hour nap - unheard of at home.

We continued the ibuprofen/acetaminophen regimen and this morning - at 6! - she woke up with a dry cough and a very hot body. She is spending most of the day with the Hoos' mother and I am going ot pick her up after her nap to take her to the doctor.

My best guess is that it is an unspecified fever virus, since she doesn't really have any symptoms other than a fever (until the cough). Of course, now I am doubting myself and she will probably end up having strep and needing antibiotics. Then I will be mad at myself and the Hoos will give my grief for not getting her on the antibiotics sooner.

I. HATE. THIS. FEELING.

Three Months...and Poof!

You may have noticed that I have not been blogging about the pediatrician lately. Is it because I was tired of blogging about it? NO! it was because my girls have been relatively healthy! In part because of the nicer weather and in large part due to AK's nightly regimen of Claritin, things were on an upswing. Until yesterday.

Yesterday LP woke up barking like a seal. And while running errands I noticed that AK seemed pretty warm. Fortunately we were near a Harmon discount drug store and I ran in and grabbed some children's Motrin. She took it no problem and was in great spirits, so we continued on with the rest of our errands and grabbed some lunch at Bertucci's. Both girls ate well, laughed, and generally goofed around, you would never know anything was wrong.

Regardless, on the way home we figured we would drop in at the pediatrician to be safe and since fevers are so rare in our house. In truth the Hoos and I both knew the diagnosis. AK has an ear infection.

Last night before bed she got her antibiotic and a dose of Motrin. When I went to bed around 10, she still felt really hot. However, she was sleeping. Rather than wake her up to dose her up, we decided to let her try to sleep it off. At 12 she needed some comforting. At 2 she needed more Motrin. At 5 she needed comforting. At 5:30 the Hoos gave her Tylenol. At 5:35 I gave her comforting. And now, at 10, she is still sleeping. Poor baby.

I don't miss these freaking ear infections! We are going back to the ENT to do her recheck in a couple of weeks. Not that I am pushing tubes, but those three months without a doctor visit were awesome. I would like to make it 6 months next time!

(For the record, LP is just fine, they listened to her lungs and they sounded fine and she hadn't really barked since waking up. She barked again this am, so we are keeping an eye on it).

I'm Late! I'm Late! For a Very Important Date [not]!

Last night when I picked LP up from day care her little nose looked red and sore like she had been blowing it all day. And she let me know that she coughed all through nap time.

"Uh-oh!" I thought, "The cold has hit significant proportions!"

When it took her a long time to fall asleep thanks to all the coughing, the Hoos and I determined that I would stay home with her today. Timing was key, because usually I leave the house before the rest of my family and if she wasn't well enough to go to school and I had already left the Hoos would be stuck at home when he really needed to be at work.

Amazingly, LP slept through the night. And popped out of bed. And when the Hoos asked if she was healed she shouted, "I am healed! My nose isn't running!" She was barely even coughing. Whew!

So I made it into work two hours late, fully knowing that I may end up leaving early if the cough comes back. Oh well. At least I brought in the digital camera and can share some new photos with you.

Before you say it, yes, I realize my kiddos are very silly. And yes, those are LP's (fortunately clean) undies on AK's head...

Tap Tap. Can You Hear Me?

Monday I took AK for a hearing test. She has had monthly ear infections for the past year and the pediatrician does not want to recommend tubes unless it is impacting her speech or hearing. I can respect that. It is not like I want my baby to get anaesthesia or undergo surgery, but on the other hand, monthly antibiotic treatments are not really desirable either.

The good news is that most of the time when AK has an ear infection, it is hard to tell. She rarely gets fevers, and it rarely interrupts her sleep or affects her eating habits. Basically I just end up taking her to the doctor when she has a cold for more than a few days because that usually means the gunk has had enough time to back up into her ears.

According to the audiologist, AK's hearing seems to be fine. There were no major gaps and she responded to vowels, constants and different tones in a satisfactory manner, despite the fact that she had some fluid in her ears.

The result was not a surprise. Like most toddlers (or children of any age - including husbands) I know that AK has selective hearing. She ignores most things she doesn't agree with. She also has this incredibly awful shriek. Really really killer. Unfortunately this has nothing to do with her hearing and everything to do with her wanting attention. However, she also has quite a few words: light. up. cat. dog. Mommy. Daddy. DiDi [her big sis]. duck. teeth. BuhBee [the paci]. Tubbies. candy...(her sister taught her that last one).

Following the audiologist I took AK over to the pediatrician to discuss the results and double check her ears. I ended up learning a few things. Maybe I also have selective hearing, because I don't think it was the first time she said, but it was definitely the first time I heard, that only 50% of ear infections are bacterial. Meaning that antibiotics are not always necessary to treat ear infections. And maybe it isn't so bad to let them run their course.

I AM NOT GIVING MEDICAL ADVICE HERE. However, she did say that if AK isn't running a fever or extra cranky or waking up frequently, we don't necessarily need to put her on antibiotics for every ear infection. This ties in to my experiential approach to parenting. If I suspect an ear infection and AK doesn't have any symptoms, I can bring her to the doctor to check it out, but what they might do is tell us to come back in a few days to see if it is improving on its own BEFORE giving her antibiotics.

I am going to try this and see how it works. I am also taking AK in for her second hearing test in about six weeks so the audiologist can continue to monitor her hearing.

Many of my friends rave about tubes and the positive impact they have had on their children and chronic ear infections and behavior. I am a believer. And, if it is determined to be the right course of action I am all for it. BUT if AK can outgrow the ear infections without surgery, I would be a happy camper.

You Can't Party All the Time

Tuesday night was my department dinner for work. That left the Hoos in charge of picking up, feeding, entertaining, bathing, and getting the girls to bed. He called me as he drove to pick them up (I was still at the office) and as I went to hang up after our brief conversation he called out, "AMY!!! WAIT!!! What do I give them for dinner?!" Mommies RULE!

The dinner was fine. I wouldn't recommend the restaurant (Frankie and Johnny's Steakhouse in Rye, NY) but the company was good and it was nice to interact with folks I don't normally see too much of. There were a few odd moments - e.g., the VP of our group referencing mud wrestling in regards to two of my cute, young, female co-workers, another co-worker fawning over my dad and telling me that is was okay if LP and AK didn't visit the office as long as my dad did (EWWWWW!!!).

When I got home a little after 9, the Hoos was still upstairs putting the finishing touches on bed time. He wasn't happy about it. Apparently it had been a rough night of multiple meal choices and general debauchery. Pretty much a normal night in my book. Fortunately, the girls slept well; unfortunately, my waiter hadn't understood the difference between regular and decaf I was up and wired all night.

Last night was the Hoos' department dinner. I was a bit worried since I was already exhausted and the girls had given the Hoos such a tough time the night before. I shouldn't have worried. By 8:30 they were both nestled in bed and I was back on the couch with my late dinner.

Around 9:30 I packed myself up and headed upstairs to watch TV in bed. The Hoos arrived home shortly thereafter but I was determined to get some sleep. Too bad I ended up laying awake until after 2. I have an annoying cold (the kind where snot forgets to stop in my sinuses or where ever for some extra mucus to make it viscous and instead just drips out of my nose like water from a leaky faucet) and apparently some sort of mental block against sleep. AWESOME.

Right now I am treating myself to my first white hot chocolate of the season. Full of fat but oh so yummy. I deserve it. Then again, I also deserve SOME SLEEP (hint, hint body).

Experiential Parenting

If asked I would say that my approach to parenting is "experiential." That is, I make decisions based on what I observe, along with some intuition and instinct.

If my girls are jumping on the bed and being nutso and you ask me if they are sick, I would respond, no. That is not to say that I would not feel their keppies (Yiddish for head) to check. (Good thing I did on Sunday, too, AK ended up having a fever.)

Going further, if my kids are sleeping peacefully and I think they might have a fever, I wouldn't wake them to confirm. I think the fact that they are sleeping is a better sign than a thermometer's reading.

Yesterday the girls did have runny noses, but they also had a great time. As LP said, "This is special that I am staying home with you because I am sick mommy." I checked each of their temperatures once during the day, just for the record, and they were both in the low 99s. The fact that they ate and bounced and drank, all led to conclude that they were a-okay.

Today they are both back at day care. They are less experiential than I am, more science based. I am hoping not to get a phone call request for pick up, but I am not counting it out.

On My Own

Today I spent the day home with both my daughters. I love them, but it was a long day.

AK is usually home with me on Mondays and Fridays, plus she has a recently diagnosed ear infection that gave her an awesome fever and restless night (yay! Mommy, Daddy and AK awake from 1:30 until 3); LP has a cold, a day away from gaining and sharing germs was determined to be a good thing.

LP staying home was a last minute decision. A decision made while AK was still sleeping - she slept until 9:15. Once awake, she was jazzed to be able to spend the day tormenting and being tormented by her big sister.

I tried to get them to nap, I really did, but it wasn't happening. At 1:30 LP burst into tears, "I want to go to be-ee-ee-ddd!" I was down with that. What I wasn't down with was sitting in her room for 20 minutes while she fell asleep. I couldn't. Not with AK on the loose. And bringing AK into LP's room wasn't an option if a nap was going to happen. And since AK slept late, she wasn't about to accept being deposited in her crib while I tended to her big sister. And no one can fall asleep with an 18-month old howling bloody murder in the room next door.

So...naps didn't happen.

What did happen?

• Lots of eating. Maybe some kids lose their appetites when they are sick, not mine. They ate pretty much non-stop.
• Projects. But unhappy ones. LP wanted to paint and couldn't because than AK would want to paint and we can't have any of that. AK wanted Play Dough - to eat.
  Television. Sometimes. When they could agree on a show. Which was about an hour out of the entire day.
• Dropping. LP fell asleep on the couch at 6:15 while I prepped their dinner. I got her up around 6:45 - with a lot of hard work. Even AK repeatedly pointing to LP's nose, saying "Boogies" and attempting to wipe LP's nose couldn't rouse her.
• Creativity. Both on my part - coming up with projects is hard work! and on LP's part. She had lots of inventions - see below.
• Mess making. OH MY GOODNESS. My house was hit by a bomb.

Some photos







Top: Playing the drums. It was LP's idea to use yarn to attach her drum to her waist

2nd: Icing cookies. Don't worry no one else is going to eat them We used store-bought cookies and chucked the tubes o' frosting. Mostly because they stopped decorating and starting mainlining sugar right from the tubes.
3rd: AK trying on her rainboots for the first (and likely only) time. I think she was inspired by LP's Chanukah gift of an umbrella.
4th: LP "egg cracker". She made it from a Super Grover lego kit and named it herself. Odd, because she doesn't even really like eggs.

I Hate Being Right

When I picked my little ladies up from school yesterday, everything seemed normal. LP was riffling through my pocketbook trying to find her gum, AK was smiling because she found a paci on her car seat (she can only have it in the car and the crib - and little does she know that is only for another few weeks), then we got home.

And my little AK was a disaster. Cranky, whiny, clingy...and I knew. Coupled with her week-long runny nose, this could only mean one thing. Yet another ear infection. After the Hoos got home and I scarfed down dinner, at 7:30 I packed AK up and whisked her off to the pediatrician's office where my fears were confirmed.

I HATE going to the pediatrician's office. Especially during flu season. When they have masks in the hallway for anyone suspected of having the flu. When I have a 17-month old that does not stop moving or touching things. And this is just the beginning of cold and flu (and ear infection) season.

I was planning on waiting until AK's 18-month check up in early December to broach the topic of tubes with AK's doctor. Despite the fact that she is pretty verbal, I can't help but feel that her monthly ear infections are impacting her quality of life. I know they are impacting mine. Sigh....

This doesn't fit in this post, but I wanted to capture for posterity a random compliment I received on Monday. After picking the girls up from school we went to drop stuff in the car before going to the playground. As I approached my car I heard chatter from above. Looking up there was a large gentleman standing on the roof of the day care center, repairing the roof. "Those are the prettiest eyes I have ever seen." I turned to AK, who I was carrying, "That's you sweetie, say thank you." The roofer corrected me, "I meant her mama." NICE.

Shoot Me Now

Saturday after ballet I took LP for her seasonal flu shot. A few weeks ago she received her first dose of the H1N1 vaccine as a flu mist and in about 4 weeks (hopefully, if the vaccine is available) she will get her second dose. She cried a bit as she was getting the shot, but in general she handled it well and quieted down as soon as she popped the lollipop the doctor provided into her mouth.

Approximately an hour after leaving the pediatrician's office, I was back. With AK.

AK had spent the morning with the Hoos and he didn't think she looked right. They got home from a local outdoor sports store shortly after LP and me and I concurred and bundled her back into the car. We will ignore the fact that the Hoos passed the pediatrician's office on his way home from said sports store, especially since their only purchase was a pair of really cute clearance shoes for me.

Poor bunny had a fever and the snots and the start of an ear infection. They tested her for the flu (both the Flu A and B? Not sure if this is swine flu and regular?) but she was negative, despite her fever and rosy cheeks. We left with a prescription for antibiotics for her ear and the advice to give her Motrin and Tylenol to control her fever.

By Sunday morning she was on the mend and the fever was broken. But let me tell you, having a baby with 102 for a prolonged period is nerve-wracking enough, I have no desire to watch either of my children suffer with any kind of flu. This totally reinforces my decision to vaccinate the girls. I keep hoping that the H1N1 vaccine will be available for those under two soon. I always feel so helpless when wither of my babies are sick and if vaccinating them will decrease their chances of being knocked down and out for a few days - count me in!

That Really Burns My Butt

Last night a little before 1, AK woke up SCREAMING. Since she hadn't gone to bed until 10PM - two hours after her usual bedtime - this was very strange and incredibly jarring. I went in to her room and decided to change her diaper. As soon as I pulled it open, I saw the problem. Poor muffin had a most unfortunate poop and the diaper rash from hell.

This required reinforcements.

The Hoos joined me, bleary eyed, but at the ready. I held poor munchkin's little legs while she writhed in pain as he attempted to clean her off.

AK is at the end of her course of antibiotics for her ear infections and apparently Cefdiner/Omnicef has the reputation of being a tush killer. I have honestly never seen such an awful looking heiney (not that I have seen many, mind you). The pediatrician recommended a course of thrice daily Nystatin for the rash (which appears to be a yeast infection ALL OVER her private cheeks), baking soda baths followed by some hair dryer action to make sure she is nice and dry, and Mylanta. The Mylanta part was weird to me. I am to pour the antacid on her cutie patootie. Hey - we like this pediatrician because she is a seasoned veteran, if she says it will make baby girl feel better, I am all in.

Right now AK is sleeping. I can't blame her since she was up late, intermittently, and early. Hopefully all will be right with the world in the next day or so. I needed a reason to visit the pediatrician anyway - trying to determine if I should show up to the flu clinic tomorrow so LP can get her first round of the H1N1 flu mist...which means, TWO DAYS IN A ROW AT THE DOCTOR! Rock on!

Holiday Weekend

Aren't holiday weekends supposed to be relaxing?

The Jewish holidays are not recognized as holidays in the secular sense, meaning we don't get them off of work. So, actually, when the holidays fall on the weekend it is nice that the Hoos and I don't have to take off of work. On the downside, when the holidays fall on the weekend you kind of lose your weekend. It isn't appropriate to run errands and a few hours of each day are spent in synagogue and evenings are typically spent (at least on Rosh Hashana) at a large family meal.

This was the first Rosh Hashana that the Hoos and I seriously considered skipping services. Friday night/Saturday morning was a nightmare, AK was up from 12:30-4. I finally got her to sleep after giving her two bottles of milk (I was trying to get her to replace her bedtime bottle with a cup, so I am thinking maybe she was thirsty?) and some tylenol. Fortunately, everyone slept in until after 9. Unfortunately, we didn't get to synagogue until after 11. And there was no way AK was sitting still. Basically the Hoos and I spent an hour and a half in the hallway at the synagogue chasing our daughters.

Saturday before bed I was confident that we were not going to go to services on Sunday. I figured I could be reflective at home and likely get more out of it. However, AK slept slightly better Saturday night, so the Hoos and I decided to give it a shot and take turns sitting in the service. Besides we left AK's antibiotic at my in-laws, which is near the synagogue, so we had to go to Fairfield anyway to pick it up. It did work out better and at least we both got to feel like we attended services.

Last night was the worst. AK now has the serious snots and a cough. I was up with her from 3 until 6:30. Holding her in the glider. Both of us fell asleep in the chair eventually. Not exactly the most restful sleep.

Today is a catch-up day. Both in terms of errands and work. For the next week I will be reflecting and atoning and preparing spiritually (and hopefully physically and mentally) for Yom Kippur next Monday. Part of my prep is reminding myself that I am really, really lucky to get to sit up at night with a snotty kid.

Like Mama, Like Baby

Today AK stayed home from school. She has a rash on her butt (and NO that is not what she has in common with me). For the next week I have to rub two different ointments on her privates and give her a twice daily oral antibiotic. Fortunately, I discovered the secret to getting her to take liquid medication this morning. It only took way too many frustrating attempts over the last six months (medicine is sticky. getting it on you sucks. watching it get spit out sucks worse) for me to figure out that mixing it with applesauce somehow disguises the taste. Thank heavens.

Since baby girl isn't really sick, I took her to run some errands. Our first stop was Old Navy to buy LP some jeans (out of nowhere she decided that she wants jeans - she has hated wearing jeans for the last year, go figure!). Usually I am able to distract AK and get her to stay with me if I get a ball for her to play with. Today she wanted none of it. She prefered the shoe display. As soon as we walked in, AK scoped out the kids section, found the shoes, sat down, removed her shoes and socks and tried on a few pairs. Of course, the pairs are tied together so they don't lose their mates. So, AK would walk around with one foot in a newly aquired shoe, dragging the other shoe behind, and a second barefoot.

Needless to say, I finished up as quickly as possible.

We then made our way to Children's Place in the same strip mall. On the way I was able to get her shoes and socks back on. As soon as she sat down and started taking her shoes and socks off, I saw the writing on the wall. We didn't end up buying anything there. In fact, we only lasted about one minute.

And, no, we did not end up buying her a new pair of shoes in Old Navy. Her $40 Stride Rites better last her a season!

Round and Round

How is it exactly that Mother Nature times things so that the only time there is a torrential downpour is when I have to be outside? As in getting from my office to the car, from my car to day care, from day care (with both girls!) to the car, from the car to the pediatrician's office.

Yes, if you read that closely, last night included a visit to the pediatrician. As I suspected AK's double ear infection did not clear up. We are trying a different antibiotic and hoping for the best. Poor little munchkin.

LP, on the other hand, LOVED the pediatrician's office. At one point I was trying to distract AK while we waited for the PA and took her out of the exam room to look out the windows at the sun (which came out shortly after we got into the building, natch). LP followed behind and insisted on closing the door to our room, "to keep people out." Of course, this meant that she didn't know which room was ours, so when she got bored with roaming the halls she attempted to get back into our room. Opening the wrong door.

She quickly closed it and I chastised her, "LP, you can't just go opening random doors."

"Mommy, how do you know that is Random's room? Who is Random?"

No Talking!

I took AK to the pediatrician today. She has been congested for a while and it finally manifested in a cough and gunky eyes. As expected, double ear infection. Sweetness.

However, this was not the high point of our trip to the doctor.

Rather, it was when the person checking me in informed me that I had a $47 balance on our account from our last visit. The last visit were combined well child visits for the girls. Turns out the balance was for an assessment of LP.

I found this odd, since they didn't draw any blood from LP, she didn't receive any shots, and we had established that the hearing and vision tests were included as part of the visit.

Turns out LP had both a lead and TB assessment. When I inquired what this consisted of, I was told it was my conversation with the nurse on if the girls had been exposed to lead or TB since their last visit.

I was incredulous. I talk to Theresa, the head nurse for the girls' pediatrician every time I encounter her. I had no idea I as charged for the privilege. She is lovely (as attested to in this previous post) but not that nice.

I mean what kind of service could she provide that costs $50 for a minute?

An Epidemic of Stupidity

And so our love-hate relationship with the media continues. The latest flare-up: Swine Flu.

To me, this is totally ridiculous. "AHHH! A new strain of flu! Not caused by eating pork or pork-related products! Like the regular flu, but with a swanky name! AAHHH! Close the borders! Stop eating tortilla chips! Throw out your salsa! No Mexican food for a month!"

Granted, I have not read many articles on the craze. And this is not because they aren't available. Every newspaper in the country is headlining stories about swine flu, its deadly toll, and what precautions everyone should take.

100 people or so have died so far! In Mexico! According to the NY Times, it is estimated that the regular seasonal flu kills close to 40,000 people in the U.S. each year.

Helpful hints from a regular mom fighting germs on a daily basis:

• WASH YOUR HANDS
• DON'T LICK THE FLOOR OR EAT THINGS OFF OF IT
• COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU COUGH
• AVOID EATING YOUR OR ANYONE ELSE'S BOOGERS

oh, and

• TURN OFF THE TELEVISION, PUT DOWN THE NEWSPAPER AND GO OUTSIDE AND ENJOY THE BEAUTIFUL WEATHER

A Lost Hour

You know those times in your life when something happens (e.g., traffic) or doesn't happen (e.g., waiting for the cable guy who never shows up) and afterward all you can do is shrug and think, "Another hour of my life...wasted."

Today was one of those days.

I spent more than an hour squatting in a restroom in the pediatrician office, a cup poised in my right hand under LP's tush.

An hour, waiting to be peed on.

When she finally did pee I wanted to shout, "Thank you Jebbus!" Actually, at first I thought I had missed my chance (along with the pee), but I managed to catch enough for the doctor to determine that LP was fine.

This entire experience lasted more than an hour and a half actually. Most of that time the nurse felt bad for me and carried AK with her while she completed paperwork. AK was an angel, never making a peep. But everyone has their limits. Especially for other people's kids.

And I learned where my limit is for my kid.

I reached it when we walked in the door from the pediatrician's office (a five minute drive) and LP yelled out, "I HAVE TO PEE!!!" and took off running to the bathroom.

It would only have been worse if she hadn't made it in time and I had to clean pee off of my hands for the second time in an hour.