Just Nod and Walk Away

AK's new thing? Instead of saying "Yes" when responding affirmatively to a question she very clearly says"Yup!"

Another new thing that she does constantly causes confusion.

Me: "Do you want some cheese?"

AK: "No."

Me, repeating, "Okay, so you don't want cheese?"

AK: "Yup."

Writing this out, I realize it is obvious that she is responding to my follow up question accurately, but in practice I get all fatumuled and then think I am supposed to give her cheese. Because most people would respond "No," to the follow up question (reinforcing their first statement), but she takes me literally.

My point? Despite her lazy speech, the kid is smart. Real smart. And I am screwed.

Putting it Together

An awesome thing about being a mom is watching your kids put it all together - bringing things they have learned in the past, at school, from family and friends to bear on current situations. I still can't really get used to it.

Yesterday as I drove the girls home from school we passed a home that had been razed several months ago. We call it "the knock down house." I pointed out to LP that there was a truck (a bulldozer maybe?) on the lawn, meaning that the home was going to be rebuilt soon.

"Mommy, I wish our house was knocked down so that we could have a truck." When I replied that we wouldn't have a place to sleep if our home was knocked down her quick response was, "Well, mommy, then we could sleep in a sukkah."

For those of you out there wondering what a sukkah is, it is a temporary shelter, built for Sukkot, a Jewish holiday that starts this Friday and celebrates (among other things) a successful harvest. You are supposed to eat in the sukkah and sleep out underneath the stars (the roof is open on purpose so you can see the stars).

When I mentioned it to the Hoos, letting him know that his conversation with her at services on Monday made an impression, he responded, "I didn't show her the Sukkah at the synagogue. I showed it to AK." We have no idea how LP made this connection. We haven't read any books about the holiday recently and when we asked her where she came up with this she replied mysteriously, "From somewhere."

And, on Sunday night as I was getting the diaper bag ready for attending synagogue the next day, LP asked if we would eat at synagogue. When I told her that Yom Kippur is not an eating holiday, rather, it is a day when many Jewish people don't eat (okay, I said "fast" but the Hoos told me I was being confusing, so I switched words), she started rearranging the diaper bag, removing the juice boxes and snacks stowed in it.

How did I create such a smart, thoughtful, wonderful child? Awesome.

Im a big dork&old

At 33 I feel like I am totally behind the technology curve, despite the fact that some members of my family think I am tech savvy, I am basically inept. Sure I own an ipod (a 1st generation - or 1G - Nano) and have a blog, but I only learned how to text message a few weeks ago. And it was out of necessity. And I had to ask my friends how to make a space.

I called one of the aides at LP's and AK's school to see about arranging to have her babysit. She promptly asked, "Can you text me the info?" I stammered a bit, but confirmed I could fake it. It took my at least 5 minutes to text:

9.17 Bbsit [LP&AK]? 6 To 9. [Our street address]. thx amy btw how much $/hr

I was so proud of myself! Even if I did stress over what I could abbreviate in order to make myself still understood. Of course, she did text me back about 2 seconds later.

Then, today I had to text her to cancel. It only took 2 minutes:

Im sorry need 2 cancel will resked soon btw im gettng good @ txtng

Seriously! I feel like a kid with sore thumbs, not a 33-year-old dork!

All Knowing

As parents, we some times have to pretend we know the answers to things we have no clue about. My strategy is to say everything with confidence and hope my girls forget my made-up answers before they repeat them.

However, I really should be taking a lesson from my kids. I think they both have ESP.

Last night LP seemed to know that AK wouldn't wake up until 4; so she (LP) woke up at 1:30. She just sensed that mommy would be available at that time and be itching to hang out. Oddly enough, LP typically sleeps through the night. What a wonderful way to use an exception!

AK also seems to have a sixth sense. For a 10 month old she is incredibly aware of which of her fingernails has the sharpest, most jagged edge. She knows how to wield it to cause maximum discomfort to anyone lucky enough to be in her midst.

All I know is that I am outnumbered.

Rewarding Success

The Hoos and I have a theory that LP was totally able to be potty trained for quite some time, but she just held out until we sweetened the pot enough (no pun intended). Here is the evolution:

1. Marshmallow
2. Marshmallow + chocolate
3. Marshmallow + chocolate + sticker for potty chart
4. Marshmallow + chocolate + sticker for potty chart + sticker for her
5. Marshmallow + chocolate + stickers + party with her friends & cupcakes

About a month after offering #5 she decided (cue Howie Mandel) to take the deal. Fortunately, she didn't really expect to get everything. And, even better, at this point it has become so routine that she only occasionally asks for a treat. Of course, plans for the "potty party" are in the works. Any ideas for non-offensive party games (no 'pin the poop in the potty', thank you very much) appreciated.


Speaking of treats, my good friend Kiki bought LP a little present, recognizing her for her accomplishment. LP was over the moon about it and can't wait to hang it up in her bedroom. Which, as you can see, is a better place for it than in my bathroom.

Two Smart Cookies

LP has found a new way to confound her day care providers. Now, instead of napping during nap time, she insists on going to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Somehow she manages to pee just a little each time so they have no choice but to keep letting her go. Today she peed 11 times. This from a kid that refused to go just last week.

AK is also showing herself to be a genius. During dinner she would rhythmically pound the tray table of her high chair until LP tapped back. They spent the better part of the meal communicating by drumming. It warms the heart:)

LP's Burgeoning Vocabulary

A few of the recent highlights from conversations with LP:

1. "Mommy, can Daddy do a project with me? Because you are feeding AK." She was right, I was nursing AK and couldn't play.


2. "I'm taking my time." As she attempts to go to the bathroom in her pull-up (heaven forbid she poop on the toilet.).


3. "...from afar." LP was telling my mother about how she likes animals. It is true, she does only like them from a distance. Once she gets close she freaks out. Like poor Coco the bunny, "I don't like him on the rug. I like him in the cage."


4. "It's complicated." Explaining to me how it is difficult to put on socks with the rubbery part on the bottom so she doesn't slip and fall.


5. "I don't want them to move." As she takes literally fifteen pieces of tape to stick something to the wall.


6. "I want to decorate it." Her interest in coloring in one of the 'projects' we had created.


7. "I went to work with Mommy and I saw Kiki." She LOVED coming in to my office on Friday and checking out my cube and entertaining my co-workers.


8. "Do you want company?" Asking the Hoos as he strapped her in to her car seat and walked to the driver's seat.


9. "Nice and cozy." Her request for when we tuck her in to bed at night.


10. "These are my dancing shoes." As she stomps around in the princess boots my parents got her.

Good...Better

A good story from yesterday:

Next to our washer in the basement is a slop sink that the washer drains into. Typically we have no problems with this set-up. Last night after LP had an accident, I put her wet clothes on the side of the sink to dry. Later on I put up some laundry, forgetting about the Tinkerbell panties and jeans resting on the lip of the sink. Some time later I came down to move the wash into the dryer and noticed water on the floor of the basement - stretched across almost the entire expanse of the basement. Apparently Tink had been knocked loose and got stuck in the drain, causing the slop sink to overflow and flood the basement. Fortunately we have a Wet/Dry vac, the Hoos had just cleaned up the basement, nothing was really on the floor, and the Hoos was a good sport. It actually turned out to only be a couple of gallons, but it still sucked.

A better story from yesterday:

I gave LP some fruit for dessert after she finished her dinner. She held up a blackberry and asked me what it was. She nodded and ate it. She then picked up a raspberry and showed it to me and said," I like these better." She then stuck it on the tip of her finger and laughed hysterically. I was amazed that she had somewhere, somehow picked up the concept of "better". She is so smart.

Big Mouth

LP is talking up a storm these days. She remembers everything and repeats it in the correct context (although not always at the most appropriate of times). Some recent additions to her repertoire:

• "Oh my goodness gracious!" She told me that her friend Addie taught her this one.
• "Girls have tushies; Boys have peanuts." This little gem was shared during circle time at school. She went on to confirm for everyone that boys do not have tushies.
• "Jesus Christ! I need new pants." At least we were alone in our home office when she yelled this out - she thought her pants were too tight.
• "I am sad." Me: Why? "You hurt my feelings." How? "You pushed me." I then launched into a discussion about lying that totally went over her head.
• "Baby is not listening to me. BABY DO YOU HEAR MY WORDS?!" Her poor poor baby dolls.
• Yesterday when she refused to stay on her cot during nap time and Miss Shauna threatened to tell Mommy, she responded, "And tell Daddy. And AK." Fresh, fresh, fresh.
• "I don't need a bath, I don't have a rash." You try convincing a two year old that these two things have nothing to do with one another.

Oh, and in addition to a big mouth, my little muffin has a big knot on her head. Apparently one of the teachers accidentally kicked her in the head during gym class the other day. The knot was never pretty, but yesterday her eyes got little smudges on the inside corners and look a little swollen. I still haven't exactly figured out exactly how this happened but it involved uneven bars and a dismount and LP sneaking up under the bars. According to the incident report they gave her ice and "LTC". I hope they mean TLC.

A Bright Idea

Every once in a while I have a bright idea.

This morning LP really wanted to bring the balloon dog that she had gotten at Southport Brewery to school to show her friends. During Circle Time they all go around and talk about their weekends and apparently LP felt the need to have a prop. Obviously, this is a recipe for disaster. There was no way if that thing left the house it was going to come home at all - and quite likely there would be several incident reports (e.g., biting, fighting) because if it.

So, what is a mommy to do?

We took a picture and printed it for her to bring to school.

I am a Bad Neighbor

So as I was taking Dee on her first sojourn to "Leonard's," the world's largest dairy store, we noticed a dead squirrel on the street near our house. As we quickly navigated the store (Dee still hasn't had her shots so I kept her close in the Bjorn and moved fast) I pondered what to do about the deceased rodent.

I came up with 3 options:

1. Leave it there and hope that it got run over and demolished to the point where it wasn't recognizable
2. Wait until 8 tonight when the Hoos gets home and make him deal with it (this is typically my policy with the mice that a neighborhood cat gifts us with and leaves on our back patio)
3. Or, use a really long-handled shovel to move it (but where? not into the garbage can, that is for sure!)

Realizing that the neighbors on the other side of the street are out of town today, I opted for a hybrid of 1 and 3. I pushed the rigored squirrel to the other side of the street, closer to their property. I figure for the price of taking in their mail, they (or their landscapers) could deal with it, should it not be obliterated sooner.

In adorable child news, the girls are both doing great. LP was thrilled to receive the "American Girl" catalogue (which she affectionately calls 'the baby book') in the mail yesterday. In it are toy horses. After telling me that she had a horse, I asked its name. She mumbled something unintelligible and I asked her to repeat it. Again, I had no clue. "Mommy, the farmer! Neigh, neigh here!" So I guess the name of her horse is Neighneighhere. Man, the kid is awesome.

"I do it, too!! My turn!"

The time has come. My little girl is almost two and she is ready to be an independent woman. There are very few things that she doesn't think she can do. From cutting melon to getting dressed.

For the most part she is okay with being denied the opportunity to do dangerous things (e.g., cut melon) , but she does get really irate if you try to help her put clothing on. As helpful as this has the potential to be, it can be quite time-consuming and trying. Three mornings a week she is home alone with the Hoos, they are usually running late, and time and patience (on either of their parts) are in short supply.

This morning, the end of LP's first five day week at day care, I was home to handle LP while the Hoos could take his time getting ready for work. I patiently sat at the top of the stairs while she:

1. removed her pajamas, shouting "Zippa!!!"
2. put on her pants, correctly - after I showed her how to make sure that they were right-side out and the tag was in the back
3. pulled on her short-sleeved onesie, let me adjust it so it was not on backwards, and pushed her arms through without assistance
4. repeated step 3 with her long-sleeved shirt
5. put on her socks - pulling them up to her knees - and then let me straighten them out
6. retrieved her sneakers, removed the inserts (these are part of the shoe, I have no idea why she takes them out, but whatever), stood up and held on to my head for balance as she tried to put them on
7. responded appropriately when I said "wrong foot," lining her shoes up so she would put them on the correct foot

All this only took 15 minutes. Well, if you don't count the 23 month lead up of learning and development... It really is amazing to me that my little LP is so grown up.

Now if only she would curb her independence when we are in a rush or out in public.

Life Lessons

LP seems to be back to 100%. She is once again cheerful and exuberant and all around silly. Some of her most recent findings:

1. Mommy will read to me for hours on end as long as I sit on the potty. Even if I don't pee! Sunday LP sat on the potty while I read her at least 10 books.
2. I can get my way if I let Mommy pick my nose. Another winner. Yesterday LP napped for 20 minutes in the car. We were hoping to levitate her from the car into the crib, but unfortunately when she is wearing cold weather gear it is hard to extract her without her noticing. She screamed and screamed from her crib. I even tried laying down next to her on the floor. I took her out and tried to get her to lay on the floor with me. Nothing was working. If I even said the word "nap" she would start howling. Finally, exasperated and with snot all over her face I said "If you want to go downstairs, let me get that booger." She stood perfectly still and let me extract it. This is not a coincidence.
3. Animals have tails but people don't. Today LP discovered the small protrusion on the back of her cow doll. She then diligently searched herself and Baby (her Cabbage Patch Kid) for similar growths. We then went through all of her stuffed animals one by one to identify their tails.
4. A robe is a good thing to put on when you are cold. The past couple of mornings LP has woken up and said something that sounds like "whoa!". You would think I would remember from one day to the next that she is calling for her robe. She likes to put it on over her pajamas and walk around the house.
5. I can get Mommy in trouble. LP has learned a few new words - including "Booby!" and "Bra!". She likes to yell them out at inopportune times. The Hoos is less than amused. I am rapidly trying to introduce other words to her vocabulary so she hopefully forgets these (yeah, right).
6. Sleeping on a pillow is kewl. While LP was sick we put a small decorative pillow (the first item we bought for her when we found out I was pregnant, actually) in her crib. We figured that elevating her head would be a good thing to combat the post-nasal drip (we didn't want to put something under the mattress because she moves so much that it would end up defeating the purpose with her head on the downward slant). She now looks so cute when she falls alseep with her little head on the pillow.

We are all learning constantly, so these are just a few examples. Everyday I swear our knowledge of each other expands by the size of an encyclopedia.

On a slightly related--but not quite--note, I am trying to learn to be more thoughtful at home and in the office. For example, instead of saying to colleagues "That isn't a bad idea"; I am actively trying to make it a positive and say "That is a good idea." I don't know why this is so hard for me!

And, finally - GO BIG BLUE!

The Dim Bulb

Someone has to be the dim bulb, right? Today it is me.

So far:

• I spent 10 minutes searching my house for my car keys. Yesterday LP was playing with my pocketbook. Typically this entails taking every freaking item out of my wallet and inspecting it to see if it passes snuff. Typically it doesn't and she tosses it. My keys must have met this fate. Fortunately, I have a back up set. And now I have a purpose for this evening - find my keys. (7 am)
  
• Sitting in my cube, I keep hearing this annoying beeping every minute or so. I assume it is my neighbors blackberry and ignore it. Then it makes a sound like my cell shutting off. Yes, it was my phone warning me that it was dying. Good thing I am responsible for any one's life by picking up audible and non-audible clues! (9:50 am)
  

I am sure there are more brilliant moves to come. Will post as they happen.

An Exercise in Stupidity

In case I was not feeling stupid enough attempting to complete my homework assignment, I did at least two other not-so-intelligent things yesterday.

Yesterday I wore a cute little twin set. I knew I hadn't worn it in a while because it was still wrapped up from the dry cleaner. So not only was it safe to assume I had not worn it the day before, but it was also fresh and clean. I get to my office, get out of the car and start talking to the woman parked next to me. I notice her looking at my shirt funny. I look down and see that my nice light blue shell is covered in black lint. While we discuss the possibilities she offers that perhaps I rubbed against something in the car. You know, because I rub my boobs on things as I drive into the office. Fortunately I am able to rub the lint right off with a spare lint brush I keep in my desk drawer.

Fast forward to me going out to lunch. As I get out of the car and look down I notice that the freaking lint is back. I look accusingly at my quilted purse, which is not linty to say the least. When I return to my car I inspect the seats; cloth, but not fuzzy. Frustrated I get in and pull my seat belt on - only to notice that the entire length of the seat belt is covered in black lint! So, my colleague was right, I was rubbing my chest on something as I drove into the office. Smooth move, ex-lax!

My stupidity did not end there. I do not usually go into the office on Mondays, my but I went in this week because I will be out on Thursday and Friday and wanted to get in some extra hours. So yesterday, Tuesday, was my second day in the office this week. That honor usually goes to Wednesdays. Wednesdays also happen to be garbage night in my neighborhood. I was so proud of myself for taking out all of the garbage and recycling - with LP's assistance of course - before the Hoos got home. He then complained that I had thrown everything out (e.g., the leftover challah and angel food cake from Friday night). When I explained to him that we only have garbage one night a week and since we are going away I didn't want to leave those items around to get moldy, it suddenly dawned on me that we were the only house on our block with the garbage cans out. I rushed out to put them back into our garage in an attempt to spare myself any further embarrassment.

Man, do I need a vacation.

I'm in Trouble

My daughter is not even a year old and already she is smarter than me. I tried to give her milk in a cup with her lunch; after a few sips, she looked at me and pointed over to the disassembled bottles sitting on the counter next to her high chair.

"Duh, mom, milk comes from a bottle, not a sippy."

Ever obedient, I poured the milk into a bottle and she drained the whole thing.