Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Minimum Qualifications

After some recent interactions with unpleasant people, I have decided that there needs to be some criteria that people need to meet, consistently, in order to be considered adults:
  1. Look people in the eye when having a conversation.
  2. Accept responsibility when you are at fault, and even occasionally when you aren't.
  3. Treat everyone with respect even if they don't deserve it.
  4. Acknowledge other contributors in your life (personal and professional).
  5. Channel your excess energy into positive activities. (Note "consistently" is not the same as "always")
  6. Take it if you dish it. I am all about the quick comeback, but if you can't accept someone returning a smart retort, keep your trap shut.
  7. Learn to make at least one meal. Even mac and cheese from a box. I once had a roommate that would measure the amount of water for boiling the mac according to the instructions on the box. Even so, at least after 10 minutes she had a meal.
  8. Leave it on your plate, even if you don't want it - literally and figuratively. LP is the queen of throwing food that she doesn't want on the floor or at me. Even so, with some of the hot potato passing going on in my office, it is a wonder I don't come home looking like a high school food fight survivor on a daily basis.
  9. Show some love. A little patience and understand can go a long way sometimes.
  10. Keep it in your pants. Don't show too much love. Everyone doesn't need to see your goods. Yes, sometimes you need to vent, and as an exception world-wide sharing may be cathartic. But, really, having a few special friends is cool; showing your goods to the entire school, not only whorish, but sad.
This is only the beginning. Whatcha got to add, blog readers?


Wenderina said...

So since it's now time for MY review (you've already been through the pain), which of these numbers apply to me???

Anonymous said...

Hey - Just hoping #4 isn't about me : ) I second your advice to humanity -- T and I continue to be amazed daily at people. We've also considered putting together a list like this to pre-qualify people before they multiply! Maybe I'll begin to miss stupid people if my bedrest really goes another 3 weeks -- nah!
Give LP and Hoos hugs from me, LN

KiKi said...

OMG, so true... esp #2, 3, 6, and 9! I know so many people who regularly dole out harsh criticism but fall apart even when you're trying to be constructive.

#10 had me rotfl.

A's Mom said...

Well, atleast I figured out a good reason to be a SAHM without a vehicle. This way I get to ignore all those stupid people out there. Although I do have to put up with them when I make my midnight errands. Damn.

Robyn said...

At a MINIMUM an adult should learn how to use the potty successfully! I just came from the ladies room at my office and it's like a BLIND man was in there!! Yuck!

Stephanie said...

Love the whole list and I second Robyn's motion for the addition. Seriously - how is it possible that there are so many grown-ups out there that can't aim?