Thursday, January 24, 2008

Lesson 1: There Are No Comparisons

Almost a year ago I wrote about the temptation to compare LP's development to that of her peers. I think I have been successful in just being happy with her growing and learning at her own rate. In my mind she continues to be the "best and brightest," the same thing every other parent on the planet thinks about their kid.

I have discovered a new comparison pitfall: Comparing me to myself. I know, it sounds dumb, right? Like, "what the hell does she mean" dumb. I keep comparing my demeanor, my physique, my growth, my everything to me two years ago.

To give you some perspective, two years ago I was almost exactly at the same point in my pregnancy with LP. Bun's due date is a week later than LP's due date. Some examples of my struggle:
  • Last time around: Eagerly awaiting "looking pregnant" so that people would know and understand my inner glow. This time: Eagerly awaiting looking pregnant so that I would stop looking pudgy and look like I was putting on weight for a reason.
  • Last time: Excited about wearing maternity clothes like a 'real pregnant person'. This time: Dreading putting on maternity clothes and admitting that, yup, I had gained enough weight and my shape had changed enough to warrant it.
  • Last time: Going to bed early so that I could keep my strength up and have a healthy and relaxing pregnancy. This time: Staying up later so that I can straighten up a house that looks like it was ransacked by a bunch of marauding hoodlums.
  • Last time: Looking at the scale with acceptance because if I was growing, the baby was growing. This time: Looking at the scale in horror, thinking "Did I gain this much weight 20 weeks in last time?" and knowing that I really don't want to gain more weight than the first time around.
  • Last time: Thinking my due date was THE DAY our kid would arrive. This time: Feeling confident that this baby will be three days 'late', exactly like LP.
All of these lead up to an idea for a post for the future: How the heck can I train my self not to compare kids if I can't help but compare pregnancies?


KiKi said...

How about some other comparisons:

1. Two years ago you were clueless about what it takes to nurse a baby. Now you're a breastfeeding pro.

2. Two years ago you didn't know how to change a diaper. Now you can do it blindfolded, with one hand tied, and... {drum roll}... without gagging.

3. Two years ago you thought you knew what loving a child meant. Now you know exactly what it means and there just aren't any words to express this.

4. Two years ago you didn't have LP, you had Bump. Now you have LP -and can you even remember life without her? And so it will be with Bun, a new little person to cherish through new joys and challenges.

5. Two years ago you were glowing and beautiful. Now you're once again glowing and beautiful.

Ahhh... I know it's all mushy but get it while the gettings good. ;P

Tiffany said...

I think it is normal. I have compared this pregnancy with my first one left and right and this pregnancy has been very different. I am sure once the little one is born I will be thinking that she sleeps better or worse than Mikayla, etc... It is hard.

A's Mom said...

That's so funny that you're doing this, because I could totally see myself doing this as well. It's bad enough that we compare children, now we have to compare ourselves. Will the madness of being a mother ever end?? :)