I have discovered a new comparison pitfall: Comparing me to myself. I know, it sounds dumb, right? Like, "what the hell does she mean" dumb. I keep comparing my demeanor, my physique, my growth, my everything to me two years ago.
To give you some perspective, two years ago I was almost exactly at the same point in my pregnancy with LP. Bun's due date is a week later than LP's due date. Some examples of my struggle:
- Last time around: Eagerly awaiting "looking pregnant" so that people would know and understand my inner glow. This time: Eagerly awaiting looking pregnant so that I would stop looking pudgy and look like I was putting on weight for a reason.
- Last time: Excited about wearing maternity clothes like a 'real pregnant person'. This time: Dreading putting on maternity clothes and admitting that, yup, I had gained enough weight and my shape had changed enough to warrant it.
- Last time: Going to bed early so that I could keep my strength up and have a healthy and relaxing pregnancy. This time: Staying up later so that I can straighten up a house that looks like it was ransacked by a bunch of marauding hoodlums.
- Last time: Looking at the scale with acceptance because if I was growing, the baby was growing. This time: Looking at the scale in horror, thinking "Did I gain this much weight 20 weeks in last time?" and knowing that I really don't want to gain more weight than the first time around.
- Last time: Thinking my due date was THE DAY our kid would arrive. This time: Feeling confident that this baby will be three days 'late', exactly like LP.