The Flower and the Butterfly

Sleepy Rhymes with Weepy

I love AK. She is really a wonderful, sweet, loving baby. She doesn't really have it in her to cry and I am so thankful that she is not a screamer. A talker, a whimperer, yes; but definitely not a crier or a screamer. Yet.

I feel bad complaining.

But I am so freaking tired.

Last night AK went to bed at 8:30. I fed her in her sleep at 10:30 hoping that would buy me a couple of extra hours before she next required nursing. But, no. Like clockwork she was up at 12:30. And 2:30. I think I fed her around 3:30 and the Hoos brought her in to bed with us shortly after that because he heard LP say something and was worried that AK would wake her up.

I don't think she wakes up because she wants to eat. How can she want to eat? She is eating solids three times a day and milk every three or so hours. My next plan is to start changing her every time she wakes up, hoping that she doesn't like having a wet diaper. I don't change her as often in the middle of the night (okay, or like at all) because I am worried about REALLY waking her up and I am lazy. However, if this works and I get a few more minutes of sleep (notice I am no longer requesting hours) I just might survive this motherhood thing.

Can't Fight...

Progress. Yes, it is considered progress that I only had to get up at 12:30 and 3:30 last night.

Inertia. Last night as we drove home from day care we passed the Golden Arches. LP called out "McDonald's. I like McDonald's!". Mind you, she has only eaten there once in her entire life - when the power went out and I took her there for dinner to kill some time. I guess day care indoctrinates kids about the...value? benefits? joy?...of fast food.

Time. This weekend two of my best friends from high school, KVV and Miss M, are coming to visit. Of course, considering 14 years have passed since we graduated Connetquot (go T-Birds!) times have really changed. Instead of three single chicks, we will be partying hardy with three husbands and five children between us.

First Impressions. As I type this I am having an IM conversation with one of my colleagues, Lance. It started out with my expressing some concern for my cube neighbor. Lance responded that "this isn't like you...[expressing] sympathy and empathy." He went on to comment that "motherhood is making me soft" and "Perhaps your crusty exterior is fading and the Mom side of you is becoming dominant." I am finding it so odd that his perception of me and my perception of myself are so divergent.

Little Nutbrown Hare

For those of you familiar with the children's book "Guess How Much I Love You?" it will come as no shock to read that I am almost too tired to think anymore. Hopefully I will be able to form coherent sentences tomorrow.

Master Pee

The blog title is especially appropriate given that AK is wearing this outfit today. For those of you even less hip than me, Master P is a hip-hop artist. AK is wearing a snazzy track suit compliments of friends of my in-laws. That being said, this entry has nothing to do with her outfit.

After another not-so-great night of not really sleeping, I had to wake AK up at 9:15. As I changed her she went into the "trussed turkey position." That is this adorable position that shows off her flexibility, she pulls her little feet to her chin with her knees bent. As she did this, she smiled widely at me, and realizing I was distracted by her cuteness, she proceeded to pee. A lot. And because of the position and angle, it all went behind her and not into the new clean diaper waiting below her. Awesome.

She continued to smile at me, even as I removed the changing pad cover and all of her clothes and proceeded to clean her off with a million and one wipes. As I opened a new diaper and prepared to nestle it beneath her I told her, "Don't pee again!" Of course, I jinxed it. She proceeded to have yet another full on pee.

This was no tinkle tinkle, like when LP agrees to pee on the potty and produces a table spoon or so. This was approximately a cup of pee. It pooled beneath her on the naked changing pad (remember, I had removed the cover two minutes ago after the first pee incident).

My daughter - the master pee-er.

Speaking of Eating

Thinking in Lists

There once was a sweet baby girl
who made her mommy the happiest in the world
but when she decided it not necessary to sleep
it made the mommy want to yell out [BLEEP BLEEP]

AK loves me so much that she doesn't want to waste a minute not being with me.

Despite:

1. eating a large dinner of two tablespoons of oatmeal and half a container of peaches, and
2. going to bed at 8:30 after nursing

She woke up at:

1. 12:30
2. 4:30
3. 5

And after joining us in bed at 5, she:

1. Decided to play with my face.
2. Kicked me in the belly.
3. Surveyed the lay of the land (it is actually very cute to see her doing push-ups in the darkness and craning her neck to see what is going on).
4. Ignored the Hoos to focus on harassing me.

And when she finally fell asleep around 6:

1. My arm fell asleep.
2. My alarm went off.
3. She woke up when I moved the sleeping arm to turn off the alarm.
4. I had to get out of bed to get ready for work.

The Neverending Growth Spurt

Any time there is a change in AK's eating or sleeping patterns I attribute it to a growth spurt. But, really, if it was a growth spurt every time, the kid should be about four feet tall by now.

This past weekend was wonderful in terms of AK's sleeping - she was up only once Friday and Saturday nights, at 2:30 and 4 respectively. This is AWESOME. I thought we had achieved a sleeping milestone. And I thought the solid food was really making its mark - she now has cereal (rice or oatmeal) and fruit (peaches and pears so far)twice a day. I was wrong.

Since Sunday I have been up twice a night, around 12 and then again sometime between 3 and 5. This SUCKS. Especially since I have to get up at 6:30 to get ready for work.

But then, I think about how I get to give her fuzzy little head extra kisses when I get up. And about how I get to hold her close and huddle together under a blanket so we can keep each other warm in the middle of the night. And I am (at least a little teensy bit) thankful for our extra time together. Whatever gets you through the day, right?

Conspiring during nap time

Caught in the Act

Here are two new videos of the girls. If you look closely, you can even see my new haircut!

Fed Up

When I woke up Saturday morning I had this odd sensation on my arm. A hair - one of the many falling out of my head daily - had landed on my arm and I could distinctly feel it. As I brushed it off, I made a determination. My hair was coming off.

I called Lori, our family hair dresser to see if she could fit me. "Are you going short?" she whispered into the phone. The last time we had been in, it was so LP and the Hoos could get hair cuts. The Hoos made it clear to Lori that her preferred my long hair and that he would do anything he could to keep me from cutting it off. Regardless, I responded to her in the affirmative.

I am now the proud wearer of a shorn head. Too short for ponytails and too short for little fingers to pull out. It is still falling out - but it is not nearly as messy or distracting. And, unlike after I had LP, my hair is straight again. Hormones are very, very weird things. Pictures will be posted at some point...although I would rather post pictures of the girls:)

Wanna Be My Friend?

A few weeks ago I finally caught up to the 21st Century and joined Facebook. Having a blog and having signed on to Internet banking more than eight years ago, you would have thought I would have jumped on the bandwagon long ago. I think my reticence had to do with a description I had heard early on that it was "like MySpace for grown-ups." Isn't MySpace all about Internet pervs?

I am glad to say that so far I have not encountered any pervs on Facebook. At least not any that have been open about it. I have, instead, discovered friends from high school and college that I haven't talked to in years and years.

And, despite the fact that my own life has followed the "married with kids" path, I continue to be astonished that so many of my school chums are in the same boat. Lots of weddings, relocations and babies have occurred. Weren't we all so different in high school? How did we all end up the same? And oddly, why are such a large percentage of these folks speech pathologists? It is a great career, to be sure, I just didn't realize it was so popular.

Another strange thing about Facebook is that you are the recipient of friend requests from people that you weren't even friends with years ago. Even worse, you start doing the same thing! Maybe it is curiosity that forces you to ask for access to someone's profile and photos or maybe there is some popularity aspect to see how many friends you can rack up, but at the very least I try to limit my requests to folks that I remember.

Back up to the paragraph about everyone ending up in the same boat - I can't say that is exactly true. For instance, one woman that I went to camp with, that I was sure was going to be a trophy wife (she slept on satin sheets! At 10! At sleep away camp! In New Hampshire!) is or was Lindsay Lohan's assistant. And, no, I have not requested to be her friend. I accept that I am not that cool.

Yes, Really

Yesterday after work, I had to take both girls to the pediatrician for shots. LP needed a flu shot and AK needed a make-up shot (HIB) that they were out of last week when we went for her 4-month appointment. I was a little concerned about how I was going to be able to comfort them both at the same time, but apparently I don't give my girls enough credit.

The nurse and I agreed that LP should go first because she was more likely to run away. I sat her on her lap, pulled up her sleeve and held on tight to her little hand. She watched the nurse approach with the needle and sat calmly while being stuck. When it was done she examined her Scooby-Doo Band Aid as I set her down. She made not a peep.

AK made a tiny whimper when the initial prick was made, but other than that, nothing.

I quietly turned to the nurse and asked, "How often does that happen?" I did not dare mention WHAT had happened. "With a two year old? Almost never."

As we left the doctor's office LP made a point to stop everyone we saw and tell them that she had a boo-boo and show off her Band Aid. I put the cell phone on speaker to report in to the Hoos about his strong daughters and LP called out from the back, "I got a shot. It was cool."

I swear.

Listen Up, Body!

Last evening poor little AK kept trying to nap but her big sister kept waking her up, despite her assurances, "I'm singing to [AK], mommy." Singing, harassing, it all depends on the music. Little AK was totally wiped out; so wiped out I decided not to force her through a bath. By 9 she was sound asleep.

And she slept until 4!!

This is really really awesome in case you couldn't tell from my exclamation points. Too bad my mammary glands were aching from engorgement so I couldn't really enjoy the fact that I was allowed to stay in the bed for seven straight hours (okay, six straight hours, I didn't go to bed until 10).

And, when I nursed her at 4 she finished quickly and went right back to bed!

If this happens again tonight I promise to take advantage of it and sleep like a log. Body, do you hear me?

Speaks for Itself

Knick Nack PakNak

Last week I received word that I had won PakNaks from the WMAG Review blog. I had never heard of them before, but PakNaks are these adorable little vinyl creatures that you can use to customize your kids' lunchboxes and backbacks. I guess sort of like those doo-dads that people stick in the holes of their Crocs. But way cooler.

When they arrived in the mail earlier this week, I told LP that she had a letter. She loves getting mail (who doesn't? The "ping" of a new email message isn't quite the same as ripping open a package or envelope). When she saw the PakNaks she was really really psyched. Each creature has Velcro on the back and comes with the "opposite side" Velcro patch that you can attach to whatever you want to adorn. It took a lot of physical strength to restrain LP from decorating herself with the PakNaks. We ended up putting three (Manfred, Isaac, and Tabby) on her lunch box and one on AK's (Ralph).

LP told me that she couldn't wait to show Miss Louise. And the Hoos reported that she was passing around her lunch box at school the next morning to show all of her friends the animals.

Speaking of lunch boxes, today AK's lunch box contained a box of rice cereal! We gave her her first spoonfuls Wednesday night and I had to cut her off! I wanted to make sure it didn't have any adverse impacts before giving her a full feeding's worth. Of course, LP insisted on helping me feed AK despite the fact that she was didn't want to hold the spoon still long enough for AK to get the cereal off of it and refused to stand in AK's line of sight. Poor AK was confused by the spoon full of mushy cereal coming at her from behind and quickly disappearing.

Yesterday morning and last night AK almost finished the allotted servings of cereal. And her big sister said, "I'm so proud of you [AK]." Too cute.

Winning Isn't Everything

WARNING: I'm going to get political. Feel free to ignore this post if you aren't interested.

This morning on the radio I heard a snippet of a speech that Sarah Palin gave in Florida, "Our opponent talks an awful lot about the war in Iraq and not once has he mentioned America winning." This quote really bothers me. Coupled with an article in this week's Newsweek about John McCain and his views on achieving "victory" I am really disturbed by what their election could mean for our country.

Maybe I am naive or drinking the mommy kool-aid, but, to me, winning doesn't equate with success. Success is defined by dictionary.com as the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors. Victory is defined as the ultimate and decisive superiority in any battle or contest. Personally, I would rather be successful than victorious and this is the value that I plan on passing on to my children.

Let's forget for a minute about the "War on Terror," which isn't really a literal war that can be won with any number of individual battles, rather just a figurative war that give our Commander in Chief license to bomb whoever he wants and restrict civil rights, and instead focus on Iraq and Afghanistan.

Victory solely focuses on guns and military might. Success, however, requires intellect, humanitarianism, and communication. Success would be achieved if we made those nations self-sufficient. Victory would be ours if we...what? If we destroyed an entire country, all of its people and started from scratch with a bare piece of land? Will we really have proved some sort of military superiority in having obliterated a terrorist group largely comprised of uneducated random people?

"Winning" and "victory" don't really mean much in war where the death and destruction could far outweigh any negligible "positives." What are the positives of winning this war? An intra-country morale boost? It isn't going to prove anything to the millions of people outside (or inside) of the U.S. who haven't appreciated our methods or efforts.

This has nothing to do with my support of our troops. Our troops are hard working men and women that are doing their job. I want each and every one of them to come home safe and sound and successful.

The Evolution of Advice

Yesterday AK had her 4 month check up. As expected, she is fantabulous. She is 13 pounds, 11 ounces and 24.5 inches long. She will be starting cereal this week: 1-2 tablespoons mixed with an ounce of water.

According to LP's baby book, at her 4 month check up she weighed 16 pounds, 1 ounce, and was the same length. She also started cereal at this point, 1-2 tablespoons mixed with breastmilk.

According to my baby book, I was 13 pounds, 1 ounce and 24 inches long. And eating chicken and veal.

On Command

The other day as I followed LP's command to see the "Tubbies with the jumping part," it reminded me of days long ago; that is, the period of time prior to the creation of DVRs, or On Demand, or remote controls.

I remember vacillating between being psyched and pissed when I would turn on the TV whenever I felt like it and the show I wanted to see was or was not on. I knew nothing about a TV guide or television programming. Rather, I knew that I liked the Smurfs and when I would turn the TV on a Saturday morning they would appear, in a seemingly random fashion.

Nowadays, LP can pretty much see whatever she wants, whenever she wants. I'll bet that the creators of Teletubbies that they were really smart when they would repeat segments of the show that they thought would be popular by having the Tubbies shout, "Again! Again!". Seriously, it is ingenious. It would have been even more crucial if not for the DVR. Even so, after watching "the Bear part" of a different episode, a repeated segment, I still am asked to replay it several time so LP can get her fix of the stupid animated dancing bear. Yes, it pains me.

LP honestly doesn't watch much TV, save for the same DVR'd episodes of Teletubbies, Barney, Yo Gabba Gabba!, and The Big Comfy Couch. Which is really making me rethink the whole DVR thing. She may love seeing the same shows over and over, but I sure could use some variety in my television viewing (and no, I do not mean Rosie O'Donnell's new variety show).

Our Little Family

Not the best pics, but we don't have many of just the four of us. These were taken using the timer function on our digital camera. And something I ate made my nose turn red, pretty, right?

Observations

1. How come I am the rude one when someone asks, "So are you going to have another baby to get your boy?" and I respond, "If we are going to have another child it is because we want another child, not because we want a boy."?
2. When did LP become such a big girl? Yesterday when I entered her classroom with AK in the car seat, she told her little friends, "Back up guys," while waving them away to give me some room to put AK down. And, according to the Hoos, she now also walks to the fridge in AK's classroom, opens it, removes AK's bottles from her lunch box and puts them in the appropriate bin in the fridge. She then closes the fridge and returns the empty lunch box to the tote bag under AK's crib.
3. How did I become used to subsisting on less then 6 hours of sleep? Last night AK did okay, but because of the cooler temperatures and her refusal to be covered in real blankets (preferring receiving blanks instead) LP woke up a few times and we had to go in and cover her.
4. When did an answer about energy become a response to a question about the economy?

Spinning My Wheels

First, I am psyched to say that I am spinning the wheels of my fabulous new car - a 2008 Honda CR-V. I am sad to say goodbye to "My Pretty Baby," my 2001 Ford Escape, but I am really excited for "My Trusty Steed". Yes, these really are the names I use to refer to my cars, my kids are probably thankful I didn't name them with adjectives.

Second, I am spinning my wheels in terms of getting AK to eat more but less frequently. She can go three hours between feedings during the day, but doesn't really want to. She will typically eat from one side and refuse more. It isn't a matter of keeping her awake, rather it is a matter of keeping her interested. Isn't four months too young to be distracted from eating? In general it doesn't really bother me, I will feed her whenever she is hungry and I am around, but it concerns me that I will have to send even more bottles to school. Now I am trying to send 4, 4 ounce bottles. This requires me pumping three times at work, before bed and, if needed, in the morning before going to work.

Last night I was really happy that both girls were asleep by 9:30. I was less happy when AK woke up at midnight and wouldn't go back to sleep until she ate. And the same thing happened at 2:30. At least at 5 she went back to sleep without eating...until waking up again at 6. How long are these growth spurt things supposed to last? Could she have just finished one (the night she slept from 1 until 7 had to indicate something) and started another?

Finally, I am spinning my wheels in terms of getting stuff done. With Rosh Hashana, while I wasn't at work, I certainly wasn't at home getting stuff done. The laundry baskets are over-flowing, the fridge is bordering on empty, and the house is not quite as neat as I might like. Both Monday and Tuesday we didn't get home until after 10, throwing everyone's cycles out of whack and causing even more items to add to the random detritus strewn about the house. Please Saturday, hurry up and get here!