Thursday, April 5, 2007

My Body is a Wonderland

I can say with absolute certainty that John Mayer did not have me in mind when he wrote "Her Body is a Wonderland". I am 99% sure that he was thinking of someone's body in a sexual way, as opposed to as a playground, which seems to be how LP treats my body.

Ears, apparently, are handles with which to hold my face still while she sucks on my chin. One of the most simultaneously disgusting and wonderful feelings ever.

Hair is used to get my attention, sort of like a leash. If I am not fully focused to her when she wants me to be or if I am holding her and she wants to go in a different direction, she uses my hair to direct me.

Cheeks are the way to mommy's heart. Especially when my full-cheeked LP crawls over to me and rests her cheeks against mine. The soft sweetness makes me not care that she is drooling in my ear while she rests.

The belly provides hours of entertainment. From slurbing to attempting to pick off my birth marks, it seems as though LP could waste a lot of time playing with my blubber.

My mouth is an enemy. As soon as any piece of food gets in the proximity of my mouth, LP hones in on it and attacks. It doesn't matter what I am attempting to eat, she wants it and will fight my teeth in order to win the prize.

I guess the point is that even though I sometimes feel like a stranger in a strange land in my own skin, there was some method to the madness.


maya said...

All so true!!
I love your post :)

Lori said...

Rumor has it he wrote that song about Jennifer Love Hewitt, who he was supposedly dating at the time. Clearly he likes long brunette manes, as seen by Jessica Simpson's new 'do, so it's not so far off to think that you could be next in his lineup.

AmyBow said...

Well, since he did go to the same High School as the Hoos, you never know.