Really? TWO Chatterboxes?

When I was pregnant with AK, I recall a lot of people confirming through anecdotes the conventional wisdom that not only are siblings nothing alike, they are most likely polar opposites.

With me and my brother this seems to be the case, although I am sure we have a few things in common beyond our lineage. For example, we both have two daughters. And, umm...college degrees...and, well, you get the point.

I was completely prepared for AK and LP to be two completely different children. When AK was born with dark curls and scrawny limbs, it solidified the situation in my mind. And, beyond looks, they are indeed quite different. AK is fearless. LP is cautious. AK eats just about anything you put in front of her (or more likely in front of me). LP is the carb queen, enjoying pasta with reckless abandon and not much else.

One area where they are absolutely and completely IDENTICAL is in the talking department. Seriously, when they are both around you can not have a minute of peace. If one isn't talking, the other is - or more likely if one is talking, they both are.

Last night was a perfect example of the similarities and the differences.

LP came running into the kitchen to tell me that Vidia, from the Tinkerbell movie, was not being very nice and she didn't want to watch. I told her that Vidia was not a very nice person and that we like nice people. "Right. We like nice people. Like Geoff and Carina [our neighbors]. They don't litter. Now will you come watch this scary part with me?"

AK came running in shortly thereafter, "Mommy, I want some Poppy Joe. In a bowl. While I watch Tinkerbell on tele-vision." She returned to the living room with her bowl of sloppy Joe meat to protect her sister from uncomfortable scenes of Vidia not being nice to Tinkerbell.

To be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh, except the other day when we ran into a co-worker of the Hoos' and his family. They had their adorable 8-month old son and he LOVED AK. He would smile and gurgle any time he looked at her. At some point she turned to me and said, "Mommy, the baby is black." When I ignored her she just kept repeating it louder.

My Squeaky Wheel

Actually, I have more than one squeaky wheel, I now have two, very adorable, but indeed quite squeaky, little wheels.

LP, when she is supposed to be in bed: I need something to snuggle with.
The Hoos: How about a cuddly friend?
LP: Something REAL.
The Hoos: You want one of our goldfish?
LP: Nooo, Daddy! Then I will just have a dead fish in my bed!
.............................................................................................................
AK, when she is supposed to be in bed: I have to pee.
Me: Okay, let's go to the bathroom.
AK: Noooo, Mommy! You wait here! In my room!
Me: Let me just turn on the light.
After I turn on the light, she walks me back to her room and returns to the bathroom.
AK toddles off again and I follow her, watching in a mirror as she climbs up onto the toilet.
She then spots me, and starts climbing back down. I retreat into my bedroom and watch as she swishes past me, pull-up and pants at her ankles.
.............................................................................................................
LP, sitting in the main part of the grocery start with AK in the basket: Mommy, you should get pregnant again.
Me: Oh yeah? Why is that?
LP: So that [AK] can sit in here with me and the baby can sit in the front part.

Because filling up the grocery cart with kids is exactly the right reason to have another child. Especially since one more child would mean there would never, ever be silence again.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Last night I was on my own with the girls since the Hoos had a work event. After chilling on the playground until 6:15 we headed home for dinner. The girls never made it into the house.

Upon arriving at home, LP looked at the bucket full of seashells she had collected at the beach and directed me to "get paper and glue so that we can do a little project." Returning with paper and playdough (I couldn't find the glue and we have an overabundance of bleh colored playdough thanks to the girls' love of mixing), I told them to yell if they needed me and left the door open as I went inside to take care of things in the kitchen.

LP went in and out of the house a few times, getting paint brushes and water colors and other stuff to maximize the fun. At some point they decided to turn on the hose and wash each other's hands - and tushies (having stripped down after deciding it would be fun to be naked). I checked in frequently and brought vittles out several times to make sure they didn't skip dinner and then refuse to go to bed out of hunger.

As I washed dishes, I started to wonder if I should be outside with them. I wasn't concerned for their well-being - they were safe in the yard - but I felt guilty that I was not participating in their fun. And then I realized - they didn't need me. They had each other.

Luff

Just a post to capture how much I love my little buggers.

AK's nightly routine is constantly evolving. However there are two standard elements - after reading her book(s) she insists on leaving the room, explaining, "Night daddy, [LP]! Kiss. Hug." I know she is finally ready to settle down after she climbs into her crib and repeats "Goodnight. I luff you." The sweetness is sticky. And awesome.

LP is becoming such a little girl. She is totally aware of everything around her. We had the carpets cleaned recently and I established a new rule of not eating anywhere in the living room and especially on the couch (which was so disgusting and water stained before I had it cleaned that I had it covered with a blanket out of shame). Now, anytime someone walks on the rug in shoes she chases them, admonishing, "No shoes on the rug!"

Building on this, yesterday I had the house professionally cleaned for the first time in months. When she walked in the house she inhaled the cleanser scent and concluded, "The house smells yummy."

Are they angels all the time? No. Do they get along perfectly all of the time? No. Do I love them more than I can possible express? Without a doubt.

Miss Independent

At four, LP is completely independent and loves to show off. At two, AK thinks she is completely independent.

For example, on Saturday I took the girls to a birthday party at Pump It Up. As soon as they opened the doors, LP was off and running with her friends. AK was a bit clingy. About an hour into the party AK found her bounce legs and climbed up a ladder to a large slide followed by her big sister. When they got to the top, LP tried to convince AK to go down with her. AK was not enthused, but LP was not to be deterred - she just started down the slide and grabbed her sister's foot as she passed, dragging her along.

At the bottom, AK cried and I figured she was done with the slide for the duration. Instead she stopped crying, pulled herself up and returned to the ladder. Apparently it was not the slide that made her cry, but her sister. I stood in awe with a few other parents as my little peanut tumbled down the slide three or four times, determined to show that she didn't need help to have fun.

Later on in the weekend when my mother-in-law asked AK how old she was she confidently replied, "Four!" holding out five fingers.

Unfortunately independence is on the same gene as stubbornness and bossiness.

Yesterday marked AK's return to day care after a week-long absence. According to the Hoos, she was less than thrilled.

When they got to day care, she insisted they drop off LP first - a change from the normal routine. After he peeled LP off his leg they walked back down the hall to AK's class, she revealed her master plan, "Okay, [AK] home."

Nice try mini-muffin!

Rise and Shine

Twice this week, my children have woken up at 6:30. For some people 6:30 is late, and to those folks, I send my apologies; for us it is early. It is approximately 10 minutes after I hit snooze on my alarm clock for the first time and about 10 minutes before I actually am ready to crawl out of bed.

On Tuesday, it wasn't a surprise when LP came running in, "See, Daddy! I popped right up!" We had primed her the night before that she needed to be good and move quickly in the morning in order to get to school earlier than usual to prepare for her field trip. LP was confused when the Hoos grumbled, "It's too early!" and she burst into tears. Fortunately, it all worked out and she hung out in the bathroom with me while I got ready for work.

This morning, it was baby sister that took on the responsibility or getting us out of bed. The Hoos got up in the hopes that he could cover her and she would quiet back down. Alas, it was not to be and she started crying out, "MOMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" very very loudly. So he brought her into bed with us. Which was fine, until I had to get up to shower.

Since she had not fallen back to sleep, I tried to get her to follow me into the bathroom. But she suddenly did an about-face and returned to the bedroom to harass the Hoos. I decided to go about my business. Unfortunately, when I got out of the shower, it became obvious that she had not returned to the bed to snuggle with the Hoos. In fact, she had taken advantage of his slumber and decided to bug her sister instead - the light in LP's room shone bright from underneath her recently slammed door.

By some miracle, LP was not a complete sourpuss (as I would have been under such conditions) and actually was happy to see her sister (once I turned the light off). I am not sure if the Hoos actually got the girls out of the house any earlier than usual, but at least I was able to get them started moving in the right direction.

Too bad I wish I was still in bed.

Total Nutters

Tonight we picked up LP's uniform for her first organized sport activity - soccer. She couldn't wait to try it on. Of course, once AK saw LP all dressed up, she HAD to get in on the action. Luckily mommy is inventive...

Individuality

AK and LP are both females, both the same astrological sign, all of the nurture elements are the same, the "recipe," so to speak was the same, and yet I am astounded by how little they have in common.

Back in the day (3.5 years ago!) LP would nurse for hours at a time. When I asked the lactation consultant a month in if it was normal for her to spend 45 minutes on each side her response was an incredulous, emphatic "NO!!"

Despite the fact that AK hasn't nursed in almost a year (WOW!!) I clearly recall her eating for less than 10 minutes total. Instead of being concerned about her getting too much, I worried she wasn't getting enough.

LP used to be a good eater, enjoying almost all of my cooking, but not necessarily adventurous. These days she eats little more more than pasta and other carbs, tomatoes, cucumbers, cheese and yogurt, and certain fruit. Anything kind-of warm is too hot for her and she won't eat or drink it until it is stone cold.

AK will eat anything. Today she tried to drink the dregs of my latte, stole my sample of lobster bisque at Stew's, and snarfed down a sample of a hot dog about two seconds after blowing on it to make sure it wasn't hot.

Up until 2.5, LP was a champion napper. As an infant I could count on two solid naps a day, even if it was painful to get her down sometimes.

AK has never been a napper. We were lucky to get one nap as an infant and as a toddler she will nap at school - but barely ever at home.

Yessiree, make no mistake about it, I have two completely different, deliciously wonderful, daughters

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Yesterday morning as the Hoos was trying to get the girls out of the house, he had to scold AK. She stopped, burst into tears, looked around, and ran to the only other person in the house for comfort - LP. According to the Hoos, LP was a bit stunned, but she stepped up, eating her bagel with one hand and patting her sister's back with the other as AK held on tight to her big sister's waist.

Last night it was AK's turn to be bewildered.

As I sat with the girls at the dining room table while they were eating dinner, AK put her feet on the table. Obviously a big no-no and a recent habit because we moved her to the booster seat and out of the high chair (YAY! A corner of my dining room will no longer be filled by clumsy baby gear!). LP stood up from her chair, and began pushing AK's chair away from the table (her legs aren't so long so by moving her a few inches you remedy the problem). But LP kept pushing and turning AK's chair until she was facing her. She gently grabbed AK's chin, looked her in the eye and said, "That's not funny [AK]. It is NOT funny!"

For the record, she said she was pretending to be Daddy, not Mommy.

Chatterbox

Word on the street is that second children tend to be more reserved and later to speak than their older siblings. This is often the result of the big brother or sister speaking on behalf of the little one or just plain talking louder. Couple this with the fact that, once you have two children, you are more distracted, so as a parent you read less to, and likely focus less attention on, your new addition than you did on your firstborn.

So far this hypothesis does not appear to be holding true for AK. She has been talking up a storm lately and has way more words that we give her credit for. Five new words pop up every day - from "umbrella" and "bird" yesterday to "Melmo" - her favorite Sesame Street character. In addition, she is a voracious reader. I have to "read" at least four books a night to her. Fortunately, this mostly involves looking at the pictures and asking her to show me something in particular. And man, if she isn't spot on every time!

Watching AK do things - like removing her shoes and socks and tucking her socks into her sneakers - really brings back memories of LP starting to do the same things. Then again, they are really very different. Even looking back on my post from almost exactly two years ago when LP was going on antibiotics for the FIRST time. AK definitely has her beat on that front!

In terms of personality, LP has always been quite social and she definitely has a "mothering" instinct. She always tries to take care of her friends and we frequently get notes on her daily sheet that say she was a good helper to her friends and teachers. AK is more focused on herself. And being an entertainer. She is incredibly silly and she loves attention. And she has no fear - not of hurting herself, or animals, or food. This is quite different from LP, but I can't recall if that set in later.

In fact, instead of being outshone by her big sister, I think AK is challenged by her. In reality, AK thinks she is three and a half. She walks into LP's classroom like she owns the joint and seeks out activities or toys. AK wants to do everything like LP, from putting on LP's coat and hat to eating her food (literally, taking food off LP's plate when she has the identical items on her plate) and drinking from her cup.

Note, I am a second child and can't remember a time when my older brother was louder than me. He often overshadowed me in the classroom, but I think I have the edge on the volume and social fronts. I am sure he will correct me in the comments if I am wrong.

Logistical Nightmare and Sweet Dreams

The other night LP woke up at 1:45 am for no apparent reason. She wasn't crying, she didn't claim to have a nightmare, she was just awake. She showed up at our bedside four times in 15 minutes. Each time the Hoos and I would patiently walk her back her room and coax her to return to the warmth of her bed. It was not until the Hoos' final trip that she actually stayed put.
Yesterday, at a more decent hour, I asked him what he had said to get her to agree to go back to sleep. "I told her that she wasn't being fair and that Mommy and Daddy needed sleep too." Really? He was using logic with a 3.5 year old? And it worked?

On the sweet side, AK continues to transform into one of the cutest little people you have ever seen. The other night she and LP were playing so nicely together all I wanted to do was watch instead of using the opportunity to accomplish things. AK would call out, "Night-night, Didi!" and LP would lay down on the floor with her head on a couch cushion. AK would then cover her gently with a blanket, taking several attempts to cover her completely - AK is a bit of a perfectionist. Little sister would than bend down over her big sister and rub her back, singing "Night-night, Didi."

Yesterday the Hoos had two silly stories to share from his adventures in getting the girls to school. First, he was so impressed that AK was pointing to her head and saying "head." She really does know all of her body parts. So much so that when the Hoos clapped and told her she was doing a good job, she pointed a bit lower and cried out, "Boobies!" He tried to convince her that she meant "belly" and moved her hands a bit lower, but she was having none of it, "Boobies!" I guess she is learning from her sister after all.

Once they arrived at school, AK continued to show the Hoos what a strategist she is. She ran to the open side of her classroom that was devoid of children. She immediately grabbed three baby dolls and clutched them to her chest before a teacher nabbed her and brought her over to the side with the rest of the children. She then positioned herself in a corner, holding the babies tightly as her friends began circling. One at a time they would reach out a hand to try to requisition the babies and were waved (and screeched) off by my tiny munchkin. She was having none of it, having obviously learned how to fend for herself against LP.

Which leads me to my last "story" of the post, pick up time. When AK and I entered LP's classroom, the students were sitting on the floor in a circle playing a matching game. LP wasn't really interested in leaving. AK didn't mind hanging out. She thinks she belongs in LP's classroom anyway. LP called AK over and the little peanut slowly backed herself up and sat in LP's lap. LP was so proud, calling out, "Hey! Look at [AK]! Look at [AK]!"

Sisterly Love

I don't know if I should be relieved that they jump on each other instead of me... It was very cute and they had a great time, but as my mom always says, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye."

UPDATE: Here are pictures that more clearly show them loving each other...

Keeping Up

Thanks to JM for this fabulous picture of my little bunnies

See those little kids up there? They rock my world.

LP just cracks me up from head to toe. The other day she spent half an hour singing a made-up song "Rosh Hashana is the New Year." She also is just the best big sister when she isn't harassing her sister. One of her new things is this sort of football block move, where she runs in front of AK and sticks her arms out and tries to fence her poor little sister in to prevent her from escaping. AK is not amused. Except when she is and she laughs and laughs at her sister as if she is the funniest thing on the planet.

AK has really started to come in to her own. Over the last two months or so she has really become a person. She is incredibly silly. She has taken to putting things on her head - the other day it was mini mozzarella cheese balls. She just sticks them in her hair, runs up to you and smiles, waiting for you to notice. She also really really likes attention. If I am holding her but talking to LP, AK will grab my face and pull to focus right on her and then smile the world's biggest, goofiest, most fantastic grin.

It is so hard for me to remember precisely when LP started doing things to be able to see how AK matches up. Not that they need to be on the same timeline, but LP is my best developmental reference. This blog helps me keep track, which is good, because my mind is useless. I can't really remember a time when LP wasn't talking. And I am pretty sure she didn't run nearly as much as AK.

For example, when LP was 13 months old we went to the same house in Cape Cod that we went to this year. While there, LP started walking in earnest. Exactly two years later, guess who duplicated this accomplishment?

On the other hand, my September 10, 2007 blog post complained about people commenting on LP's size. No one really comments on AK's size. Occasionally I get someone who says something about how she is tall - which is just bizarre, because she isn't - but it is generally acknowledged that AK is smaller than LP. I also know this because in Summer 07 LP was wearing size 18 month clothing. Some 12 month size clothes fall down on AK! All of those hand-me-downs, useless...

There are also people that point out the similarities between LP and AK. Strangers, friends, family, lots of people tell us that they think the girls look alike. There are also some people that say they look nothing alike, but these seem to be in the minority. I am not sure if as I parent I am more keyed in to the differences, letting my girls establish their own identities, or if the people who say they are similar are just crazy. What do you think?

Good Love

Tonight AK said something that sounded close to "da-da" but it wasn't. She already says da-da. The Hoos figured out that she was saying LP's name. When I asked AK "Where is Di-dee?" she pointed at LP. It was awesome.

I already knew she loved her big sister. But now she has an actual name for her.

Tonight also included a change to AK's bedtime routine. Up until tonight her final bottle was consumed in my arms in the glider in her bedroom. When she was done I would pop her into bed. Now that she has teeth, I knew that I really needed to start brushing them. So, I held her in my arms downstairs with the rest of the family until she finished her bottle. I then put her down and told her to give Daddy and LP kisses. She went right over to the Hoos, mouth open wide making the "kiss" sound. When she was done with him she walked over to LP in the same position and bent down to give her a kiss.

I think I am in love. If only I could steal one of those kisses...

Best Friends

In the past few weeks, LP has become obsessed with the concept of "best friends."

I actually think this might be an improvement over her previous idea that everyone could only have one friend. If I would say, "Daisy is your friend, and MK, and Bhuvie..." She would stop me and say, "No, Bhuvie is Chlo-Chlo's friend." She would go on to explain, "Delia is my friend," as if no other friends were needed.

More recently on any given day she will announce, "Mommy you are my best friend and AK is Daddy's best friend." Before I can feel too good, she will turn around and say, "AK is my best friend, Daddy is your best friend." And, yes, sometimes the Hoos is LP's best friend too.

I like it best when AK is LP's "best." AK is finally big enough that she can kind of, sort of stand up to LP and I am not completely frightened anytime LP gets into her space. To hear the two of them laughing together is like no other feeling in the world. No one can elicit the quantity or volume of giggles from them that they bring out in each other.

I don't have a sister, but I completely understand what people say about sisters having a special relationship. I am noting this now, beause I am sure in 10 years or so things might not be going so well, but moments like these will be good reminders of what was and what is to come for their long-term relationship.

Earth Day and All Night

Yay for Earth Day! Since last year I actually think I have made a very small positive impact in terms of "greening" our family.

• I now use reuseable grocery bags 98% of the time.
• We use several GreenWorks products in cleaning our home.
• Our compost bin is up and running and the Hoos has been using the result to fertilize the garden - which will include blueberries this year!
• I have Freecycled a few items collecting dust in our basement
• We are reusing lots and lots of LP's old clothes on AK (get used to it kid!)

In night time news, I have realized that I am treating AK differently than I treated her big sister.

At 11 months old LP was sleeping through the night; waking up at 2:30 or 3 was an exception that was important enough to be noted in blog entries from April 2007. When she did wake up at an unacceptable hour, we ignored her for longer and I never nursed her.

Granted, AK has had colds and various other minor ailments more frequently, so I definitely coddle her more; I go in to check her temperature and make sure she is okay when I might otherwise just put a pillow over my head. I also feed her in the middle of the night for a couple of minutes, knowing it is just easier than waiting out her screaming.

I can't figure out if AK is the luckiest girl on the planet or if I am just a moron. Probably a bit of both.

Let Sleeping Bunnies Lie

AK is quickly learning how to antagonize her sister. I know this is just the beginning of my life as an arbitrator.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Last night had some good parts.

LP built a "house" in our living room and then invited her sister in to play. She even brought in toys for each of them to play with. It was incredibly sweet and gratifying to see them playing so nicely together.

Some bad parts.

AK is teething. She made noise at 3:30 and the Hoos went in and gave her the paci. She woke up at 4:30 and I went in and applied some Orajel to her gums. When she woke up at 5:30 I went in and nursed her. Reading between the lines we were up from 3ish until 6ish.

And some ugly parts.

Last night LP wasn't being very good getting ready for bed. The Hoos came downstairs and asked me to take over because he was getting frustrated. I went up to find LP having a bit of a meltdown. She was practically hyperventilating which was making her gag which caused her to spit up some mucus on me. As I brought her into the bathroom to clean up that mess she spit up more than mucus on me and the floor of the bathroom. Sweetness. The good news is that I got her to "spit up" into the toilet more than on the floor. It still wasn't pretty but at least she eventually calmed down (for the record, this was not illness related, but rather caused by a worked up child).

I finally changed her cleaned her up and got her into bed around 9:30. The Hoos proceeded to clean up the bathroom. At 10:00 LP called out to me, "Mommmyyyyyy, my room smells like spit up." Awesome.

Fortunately she didn't spit up in bed, she just wasn't cleaned up as well as she might have liked. Of course she then required more thorough cleaning. At 10:30 she and I were resting comfortably in her bed when I really started to fall asleep. "Baby girl, it is way past your bed time. So far past that it is past Mommy's bed time. Good night."

Moving Forward and Keeping Everyone Happy

As Bun's arrival grows closer, so begins the transition process for LP. She is 22 months old, so I am not really sure that she understands what it means that she is going to become a big sister. Yes, we have read books; and yes, she talks to and hugs and kisses my belly; and yes, she certainly does love babies. But all of this does not really add up to a full appreciation of what impact a new baby will have on her life.

I have written previously about my desire to get LP into a bed before Bun arrives. I am not sure that is going to happen. The Hoos and I are still discussing how and if to go about doing that. One of my friends asked of we are "talking up how exciting a BIG GIRL BED is going to be." We haven't really made an effort to do this, because, to be honest, I don't think LP understands what a BIG GIRL BED is. The "experts" say you are supposed to involve the child in selecting a bed and make them feel a part of the process. If you count running through the bed department of IKEA at a high rate of speed while giggling helping pick out a bed, than LP has been involved (although we still haven't actually purchased a bed). Maybe it is just me, but I would think that she would need to comprehend what we are talking about before we do the old bait and switch and position a twin bed in her bedroom.

Another big change is the LP is going to start going to day care full time. Right now I pay for her to attend full-time (don't ask), but she only goes regularly Tuesday-Thursday. When I have a work commitment or a doctor's appointment she goes on Mondays and Fridays as needed, but I usually feel crazy guilty and end up picking her up early. For the past 22 months, Mondays and Fridays are our time to bond, bake, run errands, and play. LP's nap time is the perfect length to allow me to get work done and the rest of the day is usually a great time for both of us.

However, I know that during my maternity leave it will make my life much easier to only focus on one child. I realize that this is not viable for every family and I am very fortunate that we can continue to send LP to day care while I am only getting partial salary, but since we do have that option, I am pretty sure I want to take advantage of it. I think LP will have more fun at school than she will home with me. They have gym and go outside and no one has a baby stuck to their chest inhibiting their movement. To ease this process for LP, and to ensure that she doesn't blame her new sibling, we intend to start sending her full-time some time soon. But we just don't know when. I don't want to do it any sooner than I have to, but it is getting more difficult for me to pick LP up and at this point she can pretty much outrun me (note to self: pregnant women do not look good running, plus it makes people nervous).

LP is a wonderful child. She is happy, she is healthy, she is smart, and she is becoming really verbal. I am confident that she will be a fabulous big sister. But I know we haven't even begun to see the inevitable bumps in the road to siblinghood.