Neither of my kids were screaming. I was not in pain. The Hoos had not just punched or kicked me. I did not hear any strange noises.
Instead, I had a dream. A dream of standing at the top of the stairs, with AK at the bottom, looking up at me, as she held a shampoo bottle upside down and aloft and slowly squeezed out its contents all over my living room floor. I was jumping up/running down the stairs to stop her.
Fortunately once out of bed I woke up and recognized my surroundings. I got back into bed, sheepish, but happy that the Hoos appeared not to have noticed that he is married to a nutcase.
In case you are wondering, yes, that is totally something AK would do.
To further my idiocy, I arrived at work this morning nice and early - 7:30. As I stepped out of my car I realized something was missing. My laptop. Which was sitting in my bag in my home office. 25 miles away. My boss lives about half a mile from me and fortunately she had not left for work yet and she was able to stop by and retrieve the laptop from the Hoos. Not my finest moment. And yet it is still only 8:30 so I have a whole day to try and outdo myself.
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