This is the Day that Never Ends

Sine the Rice Krispie Treat activity we have:

• Done two loads of laundry - 15 minutes
• Played with snow inside - 15 minutes
• Played in the snow outside (Mommy pulling 60 pounds of children on a sled) - 15 minutes suiting up, 20 minutes outside
• Eaten lunch - 30 minutes
• Eaten at least three snacks - 2 minutes/ea - 6 minutes total
• Made hot/warm chocolate - 10 minutes
• Watched too much television - 45 minutes
• Attempted to "be lazy and watch TV in Mommy's bed" - 5 minutes
• Listened to AK cry from her crib while laying on the couch snuggling with LP - 24 minutes

190 minutes real time = two days in mommy time

amended to add: I left off one of the most exciting items - giving AK a bath to wash PEANUT BUTTER out of her hair. Awesome. Worse than the cottage cheese from a few months ago. Where does she come up with these ideas?

Snow and Marshmallows

Post-Christmas purchase at Walgreens - $1.50

Leftover candy (most consumed before 11am) - $0.25.

Potential for all day sugar high?

Priceless.

The Dog Ate My Homework

In the past two weeks I have had meetings cancelled by colleagues for lame excuses.

One call, which was a last ditch effort to get feedback on a document I ghost wrote in DECEMBER, was ditched because, "I am sorry to report that I have lost my voice. So I will look at your document shortly and send email comments."

Shockingly, still no comments. Voice and hand are very closely connected, natch.

Yesterday, about an hour before meeting time with another Vice President, I got the following urgent email, "Am in dentist office to pull infected wisdom tooth- let's reschedule- please advise if this works Tx!"

I am looking forward to others bowing out of this afternoon's conference calls on account of impending (but not yet arrived at my office or home) snow.

Tomorrow, when I am actually snowbound with my girls, don't count on me participating in any conference calls.

Red Alert

No one likes when the phone rings at 2:30am. It is probably worse when you have teenagers.

Ring!!! Ring!!

Me, sitting bolt upright: Hoos! Get the phone!
Hoos, sitting upright, looking confused: What is that? Where? What?
Me: GET THE PHONE! ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.

Hoos, FINALLY getting the phone: Hello? Yes? Yes. It is?
Me, realizing, thankfully, that it is not the worst kind of call to get at that time, but not the best kind either (a wrong number): Yes! Do you hear that ringing? The alarm?!

Hoos, handing me the phone: Talk to the alarm company while I check it out.
Me: Hi. Yes, it is raining here...

the phone cuts out

Me, not thinking happy thoughts, getting out of bed and walking down the stairs to another phone: The phone died.

Hoos, calling up from the basement: IS THAT YOU ON THE STAIRS?!
Me: YES! The phone died.
Hoos: It's nothing. I don't see anything.
Me: Okay, good, maybe because of the rain...

Ring! Ring! {it doesn't sound quite as loud this time around - thank goodness!}

Alarm Lady: I was just about to say that the phone would die when he shut off the alarm. Is everything okay?
Me: Yes, thank you.
Hoos: You scared me when I heard the stairs. The footsteps sounded really heavy...sorry...but they did.

MAYBE BECAUSE I WAS IN A DEAD SLEEP TWO MINUTES BEFORE?!

As I crawl back up to bed, I know the Hoos is wired. An hour later I am almost comfortable and sleeping again. Just in time for LP to arrive without an explanation, but with a need for assistance returning to bed.

I fell back into a solid sleep just in time for my alarm clock to go off.

What a night.

Out of Control

I wish I could say that I could control my children, but I can't. I can:

• attempt to diffuse a situation;
• redirect their attention;
• reason with them
• threaten them;
• make them cry;
• carry them, drag them, restrain them or in some other physical manner force them to do/not do something;
• teach them positive behavior;
• and beg, cry, or yell.

And yet, only occasionally can get I them to comply.

Both of my girls are fiercely independent. They are their own people. They react to things in their own way. Not necessarily the way I taught them or the way the Hoos or I would.

They are growing up, but still babies. They have no filter. They say things that mortify me. They do things that mortify me. They don't know better.

There are physical and emotional benefits to being a child. Things don't hurt as much. A hard crack to my nose with the back of their head? Hurts me. A lot. They don't even notice. A hurtful comment from a friend? Sad for about three seconds until something else comes along. LP relayed a story to me yesterday that made me sad for her. She didn't even realize she could or should be sad.

I can't control them. But I can love them.

Deep Impact

Having children obviously changes your perspective on life. It impacts you physically, emotionally, mentally and financially.

Which is why last night, I was crying hysterically at a movie. Deep Impact. A sci-fi movie about the world ending. One with an unbelievable premise - I mean it has a black president, c'mon, how realistic was that when it came out?!

Before LP and AK I probably would have teared up, because, well, I can't help it. But I was pathetic last night, watching movie people let their children go or make hard decisions. It wasn't exactly Sophie's Choice, but I was blubbering.

Boy so I feel lucky that my little buggers help me feel these emotions. They sort of counter the frustration I feel when trying to convince them to do something they have to do on a daily basis.

Change of Plan

Scene: my living room, 1:30 pm, a new bag of chips, two loads of laundry to fold, and Project Runway on the DVR

Sound: Unhappy AK, sounding off from her crib interrupted by ringing telephone

"This is Miss Louise. We have a situation. We went to the bathroom before naptime like always, and LP refused to put her underwear back on. She is pitching a serious fit. What would you like me to do?"

"Well, can you see if she is willing to put her lollipops (the "panties" you wear under a skirt or dress to keep your real undies hidden) on under her tights instead of her underwear?"

"She is right here, you want to talk to her"

NOT REALLY. But as I am not really given a choice..."Hi, LP. What's the problem?"

"I wa..wa..wa..want to c..c..c..come home."

"Well, I want you to put your panties on. You know you have to wear them."

"I wi..wi..wi..will put the..th..the..them on, b..b..b..but I wa..wa..want to c..c..come h..h..home."

Lucky for her AK was still not napping and I am still a total sucker.

I am now...

• not eating chips
• watching Caillou
• re-folding laundry multiple times because someone keeps unfolding it (AK!!!!!!)
• also, on Twitter. Don't get excited for frequency, I don't do it from my cell, only from the net, and most things link back here, but in case you are addicted to me (hi mom!)...check it out.

Perhaps It's French?

LP's preschool class has a pet fish. It is a rather large, ugly catfish that they have had for quite some time. Apparently they decided to give the previously unnamed fish a name yesterday. Ideas were solicited from the class and voted on.

LP's contribution?

Rabbier.

WHA?!?!

Yes, I am spelling it correctly. And it was the literate teacher that wrote it on the board, so it is probably pretty accurate to how LP portrayed it.

I have no idea how to say it. LP's friend Glam Cam was trying to help me with the pronunciation, but to no avail.

Amazingly, this entry got the NINE votes. The second highest number of votes (I am guessing they were all allowed to vote multiple times).

Fortunately, "Kisser," proposed by the fabulous and girly MK, won with 10 votes.

My child is so random.

Notes from the Home Office

Last night after school, LP went into our home office, shut the door and called out, "I'm working! Don't open the door! And if the phone rings, don't answers it! It's for me!"

Alrighty then. We now know 1. who is running the show and 2. how a working mom does impact her children. This never happens when she watches daddy work from home.

At some point I picked up the phone to call my mother and let her know that LP was expecting her call. LP saw me on the phone and reprimanded me, "I told you not to answer the phone!" She didn't accept my protests that I hadn't answered the phone, rather I had made an outgoing call.

My mom called back and she and LP had a long conversation about all of the work LP had to do and how she had lists and lists of people she needed to call. The discussion was only interrupted when she lost her writing implement, "Grandma, I dropped my pen. Hold on. Don't hang up."

Later on my grandmother, nicknamed "GG" (for great-grandma) called and she had a similar lengthy conversation. LP explained all about our snow and asked GG about her weather. When GG explained that the sun was out in Florida LP implored, "GG, does it ever snow at your house?" Very cute. Until she was done talking and just handed me the phone and walked away mid-conversation.

We still have some office etiquette to work on, but it looks like I may have a future working mom on my hands.

Lots of Togetherness

Friday night: Date with my lady friends. Woo-hoo! Nice to be out on the town without children and not really worried about said children (sorry Dads). The downside: we closed down the restaurant and it was only a little after 10. We have been known to stay out past midnight.

Saturday: Not much doing. Highlight was the lack of naps. Oh, and taking the girls to CVS to get the Hoos a Valentine's Day Card. LP was adamant that he have a card that made noise. Not sure that "Every girl can be a princess" was the right choice, but he loved it.

Sunday: Woken up at 7am, "Happy Valentine's Day, Daddy! This is for you." Early, but sweet start. Celebrated with a family outing to IKEA. Kids ate free, both girls were totally zonked from running around and fell asleep in the car and transitioned to their beds so we got quiet time in the middle of the day. Can't recall the last time LP napped in her own bed. For real.

Monday: The Hoos had the day off! Mommy didn't! We kept both girls home. AK had her second hearing test - results not so good. Consult with the pediatrician next Monday and then likely on to the ENT. She has lots of words, so I wonder how much more she would be saying without fluid in her ears. Maybe we would better be able to interpret when she points to the fish tank filter babbling repetitively. She is saying SOMETHING, we just don't know what. Oh, and the night ended with DUEL meltdowns thanks to no naps.

Tuesday: More snow. yay. I got up at 6:30, showered and shoveled. One to three inches my arse! Maybe it is just my street, but I was pushing 3-5 inches EASY. The girls have a one hour delay, and the Hoos is taking them, begrudgingly. Which is surprising because he usually drops them off at 8:50!!!

As my colleague Dr. Menzel would say, "Better days ahead!"