Dum-Da-Dum-Dum-DONE

Today is Monday. I am at work. This in itself is unusual (but unfortunately necessary). What makes today exceptional is what I did not do.

As I prepared to leave the house this morning, I put my house and car keys in my left jacket pocket, I slung my purse over my right shoulder and then my laptop bag. I grabbed the bag of garbage left by the kitchen door, opened the garage door, disarmed the alarm and left the house.

After putting the trash in the garbage can inside the garage, I got into the driver seat, throwing my laptop bag and purse onto the passenger seat beside me.

Have you spotted the difference yet? I bet not. You would only notice if you have ever seen me walking to my car on a Tuesday morning or Thursday afternoon looking like a pack horse. Lugging all of the same stuff PLUS my Medela PumpInStyle!

As of last Thursday, I am no longer a cow. I am D-O-N-E pumping. Not quite done nursing, still doing the last before bed feeding, but a whole heck of a lot closer to having a fully weaned baby.

I realize this is not the most exciting post for any readers out there. But, at essence this blog is a journal to help me chronicle funny stories, significant milestones and my daily existence as a mom.

Bite Me

So yesterday's daily day care sheet for AK had a note, "Please send four bottles for [AK]". When I picked her up they told me she was "very, very hungry."

Never mind that it hadn't even been three hours since she last ate and never mind that she was looking content, sucking away on her pacifier...

Oh, and never mind that I am PUMPING BREAST MILK and getting boobs to produce MORE than 15 ounces in 8 hours is 1. implausible, 2. ridiculous and 3. going to be even less likely in the coming months as she nurses less and eats more.

Bite me, Miss Louise.

Thankful Not to Be Relegated to a Rest Room

I am thankful to have a lactation room at my office. It includes two chairs separated by curtains, a sink, and a mini-fridge. When I pumped with LP there were three of us that used the room. We all got along famously when our schedules overlapped - which was rare. We started a "wall of fame" over the sink with pictures of our babies.

This time around there are four of us that share the room. I am the latest addition to the crew having just arrived back at work two weeks ago. Two of the woman have been using the room for more than 6 months and have made themselves at home. They have rearranged the seats (still separated by curtains) brought in clocks and created "mood lighting" by utilizing lamps they brought in instead of the overhead lighting. And if our schedules should overlap they prefer not to talk while expressing.

To them, the lactation room is an oasis away from their desks.

To me, it is very utilitarian in purpose. Yes, it is beautiful that AK is nourished by her mommy's body, blah blah blah...but at work, I pump to make three bottles for her to drink the next day; I pump so that I don't leak and have embarrassing boob bulls-eyes; I pump to keep my production up; and I pump so I don't have horrific engorgement issues and breasts the size and consistency of boulders.

While I hope both of these women pump as long and as often as they want, I hope that they stop breast feeding before me and we don't overlap too often.

At least they kept up the wall of fame. AK's picture is now right next to her sister. Right where she should be:)

Whatever's Breast for You

It is no secret that I breast feed/fed my daughters. While I am an active nurser, I am not necessarily a believer that all women should whip 'em out. In reality, I commend women who say that it isn't for them. Better to want to do it than feel forced to do it.

From the physical, e.g., sore nipples, a cringe-inducing first latch, and engorgement issues that cause your breasts to be rock hard, to the mental, e.g., the embarrassing leakage that causes you to grow instant wet spots on the front of your shirts, nursing is a commitment.

Other cons you may not realize:

1. Your bra size continues to change.
2. After carrying your baby and having what may seem like an alien body for nine months, your body still won't be your own until you stop nursing.
3. Nursing doesn't mean you can't get pregnant or that you won't get your period back.
4. Sure, you can eat things that you couldn't eat while you were knocked up (e.g., cold cuts) but you will have to limit some foods such as broccoli and beans and potentially all milk products if your baby turns out to be lactose intolerant.

It is also very stressful to nurse when you return to work. Pumping is not only time consuming but some days you just feel downright miserable praying for your boobs to just give up a little more liquid gold. You mentally goad your hooties into producing, "Righty, man, you are the big loser today. Lefty is KICKING YOUR ASS." No, shaming your girls does not help in increasing your production, but at least you feel like you are doing something about it.

On the other hand, nursing actually does help you get your original body back sooner since you burn more calories. It is also convenient, inexpensive (the original investment in a worthy pump for those that return to work plus breast milk freezer bags and nursing bags doesn't even come close to a monthly tab for formula), and an awesome experience. I love having Dee nestled next to me. I love looking down at her while she eats and knowing that I am her mommy and I am nourishing her and providing for her from my own body.

I have to also share that the Hoos loves the fact that I am nursing. It means he doesn't have to get up in the middle of the night. I am a nice wife in that I don't make him get up to change her diaper before I nurse. She usually poops while eating anyway, so this would just be a cruel example of misery loving company.

To be honest, it isn't that miserable. It is time alone with the little angel that I carried and nurtured and couldn't wait to meet. She is healthy and thriving and I like to think that, in large part, that is due to me. From my perspective breast feeding is a gift that Dee and I give each other.

Dizzying

LP has so much energy; I wish I could borrow some of it. Although, truth be told, considering I am usually operating on 4 or 5 hours of sleep, I seem to have some energy reserves that I am making use of. But that is to just get by, LP's energy is used for leaping and bounding and causing trouble.

Yesterday I kept LP home from day care because my parents were going to up from LI for the day. To say she was very excited for 'Nma's and Papa's visit would be an understatement.

Shortly before they arrived she decided to clean my bathroom. This involved an empty spray bottle, the bottom half of a Swiffer Sweeper, and apparently, an entire bottle of shampoo. I was sitting on the living room floor pumping when I overheard her say "shampoo". I untangled myself to discover her pumping the huge bottle of baby shampoo onto her hands and lathering it up exclaiming, "Washy washy!" As I attempted to rinse her off she played in the millions of bubbles gathering in the sink thanks to her overly soapy hands. Once done with this she proceeded to paint the walls with the shampoo that missed her hands and coated the floor. Good times.

After a fun-filled day with her grandparents, it was time for LP to go to bed. About 40 minutes later I went to check on her and while I could see her laying peacefully in her bed, it was unusually quiet. Being a bit paranoid I crept in to feel her chest to make sure all was well. As I left I didn't shut the gate at her bedroom door, figuring the Hoos would be home soon and want to give her a kiss. Five minutes later, I hear the distinct sounds of a toddler slinking her way down the stairs. Wouldn't you know it? The little stinker was wide awake watching me check on her (my eyes weren't adjusted to the dark) and took advantage of the open gate.

In Baby Dee news, she took a bottle with expressed milk for the first time yesterday. I am attempting to pump at least once a day to alleviate some of the stress to produce when I return to work. With LP I remember begging my breasts to "please please please give up just one more ounce so my baby wouldn't be hungry the next day..."