Friday, December 7, 2007

Born in a Barn

I was not entirely forthcoming yesterday when I wrote about pregnancy. I do know a lot of women that are pregnant, but I did not count myself in that group. I am just about 15 weeks pregnant with our second child. We are thrilled that LP will be a big sister next June.

When I was pregnant with LP we called her "Bump" since we didn't know her gender and thought it would be odd to keeping changing pronouns or say "it". This baby will also remain gender-unknown until birth so s/he will go by the name of Bun. As in "I have a bun in the oven".

One thing we hear much more frequently this time around is "was this planned?". The first time someone asked me I was astounded by how rude the question was. My mother and the Hoos agreed. We figured maybe this individual was an exception. But then friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances started asking. They ask me, they ask the Hoos, they ask our parents. Not every person, but at least five or six.

To me this sounds like "So, did the rubber break? Did you forget to take your pill one day last month? Do you know how birth control works?"

A. If I didn't know how birth control works, I would have been pregnant a long time ago.
B. This is none of your business. If it was not planned why would I tell random people?

Am I overly-sensitive?


GreenStyleMom said...

oh my goodness! Congratulations! When are you due?
Yes, it is pretty rude to ask if it was planned, but I admit that I am always dying to know (although I don't actually ask unless it is someone I know really well, in which case I usually already know the answer). I've actually been wanting to ask you a almost as rude question, "When are you going to have another?" Now I don't have to ask! Congrats again!

A's Mom said...

Congrats!! It will be so much fun to see how LP reacts to having another little one in the house! I'm sure she will be an excellent big sister!

I too think that it is rude to ask if it was planned. It would be different if you were vocal about not wanting another one. But still, congrats!

KiKi said...

Congrats again! I think it is very rude to ask, but also curious as to how the inquirer would react if your response was "no." But that's just the little imp in me :P

Wenderina said...

You would think it would be me - the non-parent - who would ask that out of total non-understanding why anyone would want TWO kids...(ha ha). Of course knowing LP and knowing you I know two very important things.

(1) LP is so adorable you can't help but one more of her!

(2) you are a planner and of little things, not just big things. You would not be caught unaware by something like this.

People are just shi**y sometimes. And clueless most of the time.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! Best of everything for your pregnancy!

Aren't people amazing?!

Tiffany said...

Congrats on the pregnancy!!! That is wonderful. We took Mikayla to the 20 week ultrasound and said that is your baby sister - it made it more real since she could see her on the screen. Once we got into the car she asked where her baby sister was? Now she knows that baby sister is in mommy's tummy and she is coming.

I have never been asked if this was planned but at least with Mikayla I spoke up pretty quickly and said we tried right away. She was born almost exactly 9 months after we got married.

Lori said...

OMG - congratulations! As for the comment, yes, it is out of line, but probably more thoughtless than rude or ill-intentioned. The next time someone asks, return the question with a question: "Why do you want to know?" That usually makes people think twice about what they are saying while subtly pointing out that you don't appreciate the question.

Shari said...

I knew it, I knew it. When I read that post, I went back and read it again to see if I missed it and you didn't say it. So I read the previous post and nothing. So I thought maybe I'm just reading too much into it.. But I knew it!

Congratulations!!! I'm so excited and can't wait to meet the new little one... :)

And I was constantly offended when I was pregnant. People are nosy for one thing and just inconsiderate... So exciting.

AmyBow said...

Thanks everyone. I am sure you will be sick of my pregnancy musings in no time!

Anonymous said...

Congrats again! Yes, I agree it is totally rude. In fact if you end up having a boy - you will start hearing "Great - you have one of each so you aren't having any more, right?" Believe it or not I heard that from SOOOOO many people, friend, family, co-workers. I mean honestly - why are people so d**n rude!!

- Dianna