All the Time in the World

It is amazing to me how time flies. While I grin with glee when I talk about how this is my last year of day care, on the inside I am also remembering that it means my baby will soon be five. I remember when AK was Bun - the nameless, sexless baby that I carried in my oddly pointed belly.

If that isn't bad enough - My big girl is losing teeth! I remember when she didn't even have teeth.

As time goes by, I am also coming to terms with what a big job it is to be a mommy. To be a parent.

At times I forget. I see my role in the mundane - slurbing on bellies, washing dirty clothes, collecting toys from scattered places, packing lunches and reminding and nagging.

And at other times, it seems as if being "the mom" is an enormous task.

Teaching them about inner beauty, self-confidence, body image.

Reminding them that they are smart and beautiful and good.

Gloating when they do something nice unprompted.

Hurting when they are hurt by others. 

Cringing when I see them do the same thing.

Realizing that even if I am there to try to "fix" it and educate and remind, it doesn't make it go away. It might help them temper the response next time, but I can't make it go away. And I can't be there all the time.







 

It's Been a Month Since My Last Confession

The post title seemed fitting considering the previous post and the stark reality truth that I am just not so good at this blogging thing anymore.

Consider the facts.

This is a list of how many times I posted to this blog since its inception:

• ►  2012 (48)
• ►  2011 (63)
• ►  2010 (167)
• ►  2009 (254)
• ►  2008 (246) 
• ►  2007 (268)

As I haven't gotten any angry emails protesting my lack of posts, I can't imagine too many of you are too upset. 

But anyway...

Somehow it is already Thanksgiving 2012. I am not exactly sure that happened, but between a hurricane followed by a week without school followed by a week-long trip to Denver time apparently passed me by.  In that time:
  

LP lost TWO TEETH. And had lots of communications with the tooth fairy. In fact, she continues to leave notes under her pillow for the tooth fairy, but since the tooth fairy only comes when you lose a tooth, the questions about how big she is and what her name is remain unanswered.

We had Halloween. We actually had several Halloweens since it was postponed twice in our town. A big highlight was that we were "ghosted."  It means that people know we live in the neighborhood and are making an effort to include us in neighborhood activities. Woo-hoo! Of course, we immediately ghosted two other people (as per the note included in the ghosting package. We also took it upon ourselves to "snowball" our across the street neighbors. Since the instructions were written by LP, we are not sure the neighbors understood and perpetuated the snowballing, but we will just have to try again.

We had a hurricane. We were very fortunate and barely lost power, but we did lose several very large trees in our yard. They didn't hit any people, powerlines or structures (except decimating our dock), but they did create the potential for damming up the creek that runs in the back of our yard. So a lot of money and a totally destroyed yard later, we have doubled the length of our water access! The Hoos has big plans.

We had school conferences. Both girls are doing just great academically and socially. LP has a tendency to talk and AK's form said, "She has great communication skills and is a leader." We figure that is a nice was of saying she talks a lot and is a bit bossy. 

I am struggling to believe that they are both growing so quickly. Can you all even believe that she is almost 4.5? I will have to register her for kindergarten in a few months!

The One Where We Talk About Religion

Yesterday as I buckled the girls into the car after our weekly trip to Target, LP asked, "Mom? Can we talk about Jesus?"

Alrighty then. Not exactly the topic I had planned to discuss."Sure, I don't know too much, but what would you like to talk about?"

"No, I don't mean I want to talk about him now. I just mean in general. Is it okay to talk about Jesus?"

Good grief. Does everyone have this conversation with their children? "Well, if you have questions about him, you can ask someone, but, no, it isn't nice to..."

...Picture the wheels turning in my head: I don't want to say "take the Lord's name in vain", because, being Jewish, we don't believe he is our Lord, and I don't think LP would understand what that means anyway...

"...it isn't nice to just yell out 'Jesus!'"

There! I think to myself. Conversation shut down.

HAHAHAHA. Gullible Mommy.

LP goes on, "Jesus is G-d's son."

Honestly?!Where is the Hoos when I am dealing with these questions?!?!

"Well, LP, since we are Jewish we don't believe in Jesus. We don't believe G-d has a son like that."

Please, please, please let this conversation be over. I know there are lots of people that cherish these opportunities to talk religion with their children. I am not one of them.

"But, mom? Who is G-d's wife?"

I now mentally smack myself on the forehead.

To the Fullest

On the day LP was born, we had several visitors rush to the hospital to meet her. One of the first was the Hoos' great aunt, Auntie Anne. At the time she was 91 and her cooing about the "delicious" LP could be heard throughout the maternity ward. I truly believe that a bond was created the instant they laid eyes on each other.

Auntie Anne was a presence. With a cloud of white hair, a thick arch of blue eye shadow, and a hair bow that matched her outfit, purse, and shoes, she was as vibrant in personality as she was in appearance.

While some children might find older people intimidating, LP was enchanted with Auntie Anne. And the feeling was mutual. A sensitive soul, LP has a magic way about of her; she knows how to give love and attention and somehow give everyone just what they need.

LP and Auntie Anne would spend dinners blowing kisses at each other across the table and trying to catch them out of the air, giggling when they would disappear or run out of "ammunition".

When Auntie Anne made a permanent move to Florida last year, LP would send her cards and drawings, like this note she sent Auntie Anne around her 97th birthday:

Too ont ean
I LOVE you
So mutsh
“Im” “srEE “thatukan
Cumtoo rathlos Br
Mitsvu FRum [LP]

Yesterday we said goodbye to Auntie Anne on a beautiful day with bright blue skies and warm sun. We celebrated a woman that had lived life to the fullest and was loved (and loved) by many. When the Hoos told LP that Auntie Anne had died, she asked him if she could "visit her stone." She wants to bring flowers and pull off the petals to decorate it. I can not imagine a more fitting tribute to this special friendship.

Home Movies

While visiting Mystic Seaport, LP and AK spontaneously composed and performed a fabulous ditty.

AK shares some of her "technique".

Jumping rope


Hula Hooping

I Was So Much Older Then, I'm Younger Than That Now.

Earlier this month I entered my late 30s! I love my birthday and I don't mind my age. But I feel like people that were in their "late 30s" twenty years ago were older than I am now. Or more sophisticated. Or something.

When my mom was 35 (a year YOUNGER than I am now), my older brother was bar mitzvahed. And she wore a long suede dress with shoulder pads (it was the 80s). While the style has changed, I don't even think I would know where to BUY this type of formal dress. And I certainly don't think I could pull off wearing one!

I wear jeans. A lot. And t-shirts. From Old Navy. Clearly, I am no fashion plate. And  once my niece asked me to save a hoodie for her "when I was done with it." I remember once, a long time ago, I would outgrow clothes and change out my wardrobe. But now I add to it and get rid of stuff that no longer fits (outgrowing in different directions, sigh...). But "done"? Not so much.

Maybe it is just me and I am an unsophisticated clod? But I don't think so. The picture in this post is from my senior year of high school. It is our class trip to Rocking Horse Ranch, so we aren't dressed up...but have you seen casual high school seniors these days?  Besides the advent of low rise jeans and the extinction of scrunchies, they all look like they are in their early 20s. Easily.

Is it just a function of aging that our parents and our kids both seem "older" than we were at their age? 

Ahh, Innocence

When people ask me how old my kids are and I tell them six and four, a common response is, "What a great age!" I kind of figured people said this about any age with the exception of say the years between 11 and 20. But recently I have found myself agreeing with them AND I think I have even been able to put my finger on a few of the things that make it so:

1. They can communicate. No more guessing about why they are crying or what they want. Of course, now we just have to figure out if they are fake crying or real crying. 
2. Less stuff to lug around. No diaper bad, no strollers taking up trunk space on vacation. And, while I still have to pack lots of entertaining things - at least coloring books and the like are small.
3. The snuggling. Sigh...the snuggling. I love snuggling with my babies. I know this won't last forever;  when LP tells me that I am "the snuggliest" and AK wraps her arms around my neck and showers me with kisses, I try to soak it all in (and not think about the 500 other things I need to be doing).
4. Independent entertainment. LP and AK are finally at the point where I don't constantly worry about them being too quiet when they are alone in a room together. They can both be in the family room, making up their own projects or watching TV and there is only screaming about 10% of the time. Even better, they will wake up on a Sunday morning and just go downstairs together and leave us sleeping. Yesterday I went downstairs and found AK with a bowl of dry frosted mini-wheats and a cup of water, "Look mommy, I got my own cereal! Can you add milk to it?"
5. The ability to listen. Not that they always do listen - selective hearing is, after all, a common trait of children, but LP and AK still ask permission for most things. They don't sneak candy (we still have a mostly full Halloween basket from last October!) and, while they don't always agree with our limits, they at least accept them. This may mean that they sometiems try to push the limits on what is a healthy snack (usually "something from the fridge" is healthy, "something from the pantry" is not; this mean cheez doodles - not healthy, even if they are cheesy. AK and LP don't really agree). 
6. Life without guile. Building on number five, it amazes the Hoos and me that it doesn't occur to the girls to not ask permission. I will likely regret typing this. On a Friday night they may yell down, "Can we have a sleepover!?" when they should already be sleeping. If they just crawled into bed together? The Hoos and I would be none-the-wiser until we went to get ready for bed. 
7. Bathroom stuff. Yay! Love not having to change diapers. They still yell out, "MOOOOOMMM! Will you wipe me!!" but it is better than the alternative. (And yes, we still deal with nightly pull-ups for AK.)
8. They walk! While there is still the occasional request for "Uppy!" from AK, for the most part the girls walk everywhere. No strollers, no clinging. Sometimes I even get them to carry stuff! This is short-lived and I usually end up carrying the sweatshirt, the stuffed animal, the purse - but still, an improvement.

This is not to say that life with a six and four year old is perfect. They still have their moments of moodiness or crankiness. They can be difficult to communicate with and read and understand. But compared to where we were two years ago and certainly four years ago - I think we are just where we are supposed to be.

What do you think it the "perfect age"? 29? 

Two of Us

Friday marks 10 years of wedded bliss with the Hoos. While it doesn't come even close to my parents' 40 years or my grandparents' 65th, it is kind of a big deal.

I won't talk about how we met or where we met or why his blog name is "Hoos". I am betting that most of that is pretty boring to readers of this blog.

Actually, I am not really sure why you keep coming back and reading me, but it isn't likely because you like to hear me blather about my relationship with my husband. It probably also isn't because you like to see cute pictures of my kids. Most of the time it is because you want to know what Les Zombies Et Les Loup-Garous means. 

How about a brief overview of what "married with children" means to most couples (using me and the Hoos as my reference)?

• Openly discussing my gray hair; but not my weight.
• Sharing parenting duties in the way that best suits us.
• Working together and more importantly sticking together as a team when facing off with our children.
• Recognizing that neither of us is perfect, but one of us might have more patience than the other at any given point in time. 
• Accepting that our children are made up of the good and bad of each of us and a stubborn streak or tendency to throw tantrums isn't solely due to the actions of one or the other of us in early childhood. 
• Excusing a poor choice of words or action, because we know it was unintentional. 
• Celebrating each others' successes. Being happy when our kids do something is one thing, but being proud of my spouse and having him be proud of me feels just as good if not better. If I can't do small things - like getting the kids out of bed, dressed and fed without him, than I certainly can't accomplish big things - like switching jobs or taking on more responsibility at work.
• Trying to look forward to each day as an opportunity for a new adventure. 

What does "married with children" mean to you? What have you learned in your marriage that would be a good lesson to me, even 10 years in?

Motoring

Yesterday morning I vaguely remember hearing the ladies chatting amongst themselves while I stayed snuggled in bed. Around 8:45, there was a distant, loud, persistent call, "MOOOOOMMMM CAN YOU OPEN MY YOGURT!" at which point the Hoos turned to me and said, "Are they downstairs?"

After opening the yogurt for AK, giving LP a waffle and taking a shower, I was back downstairs and being dragged outside. "We want to ride our bikes." Instead of watching TV on a Sunday morning? Whose children are these?

It has pain painfully obvious for approximately a year, that LP had outgrown her bike. Her knees were in her face. It was also apparent that the athletic AK was sort of over the tricycle.See above for proof.

After locating the coupon I had received from Discover for $20 off any $100+ purchase at Sports Authority, the answer was clear.

LP is now the proud owner of a new bike (for $95, we got LP a new helmet and an 18" bike, I think this is a pretty good deal). AK is also telling everyone that she got a new bike and now has two helmets (thank you G-d for a little girl who looks at hand-me-downs in this way!).

AK also spent the better part of an hour riding a little bicycle throughout the aisles of Sports Authority while the Hoos and LP selected her bike and helmet. I got to chase AK. The Hoos told me that this does not count as exercise. Jerk.

Now we just have to teach them how to ride. Well, they know how to ride, but they are both really dependent on the training wheels. While both bikes have training wheels, the new goal is to get them to learn how to balance and see the training wheels as a crutch and not a support mechanism for going around turns. Since I was about 11 when I learned how to ride a bike, this will be testing all of my parenting skills and bicycling knowledge.

In addition to spending Sunday on two wheels, we enjoyed part of Saturday on four legs - at the Easton Farm Tour. Easton is one town over from us and about 11 farms opened their gates to the public. Some of them - like Sherwood Farm - are always open to the public and have great farm stands; others - like Gilberties commercial operation and Buttonwood Farm - are usually private. Either way, we had a great time and delivered on the girls' wish for a pony ride. It was AK's first time and only LP's second. LP told me, "Anytime there is a chance for a pony ride - like a birthday party or something - always bring me. Even if we have other plans. Bring me."

An Interesting Turn of Events

Many of you out there may remember this image of LP. It was captured by my friend, DM, several years ago on a school trip to an animal farm. I am sure there are other similar photos of LP floating around out there due to her well-documented love/hate relationship with animals.

You can now add to that collection, these photos.

Friday morning I got an email from a colleague asking if we could dog sit their incredibly sweet yellow lab. After checking with the Hoos, we decided to give it a go.

Not only did we all survive the weekend, we had a great time and the girls did an AWESOME job. Especially LP, as evidenced by the photos above.