Snuggle Bunny

Yesterday I had to leave the house early for a drive to beautiful Providence, RI.

Before leaving, I went into AK's room. "Baby, mommy has to leave early for work, do you want to get up with me or wait until daddy comes?"

Without saying a word, I watched her literally rub the sleep out of her eyes and off of her body. She then sat up on her knees with her eyes closed and her arms outstretched, "Mama."

Sigh.

That is why it is worth it.

The Dramatic Arts

I thought I knew all about drama because I was once a little girl - and a teenage girl. But alas, I have discovered that you don't really know drama until you actually have a little girl.

Even better? Two little girls.

AK has an awesomely irritating fake cry. She brings it on easily and often when she doesn't get her way. I ignore it, but it can definitely be grating. And the best part is when her big sister feeds into it, offering up a soothing "It's okay, AK! Big sister is here," as she opens her arms for a big hug.

Luckily for me and the Hoos, AK whips out the heavy drama when we are in public. Sitting down in the middle of a store and fake crying because she wants to go left and we want to go right. The good news is, if you start walking away, calling "C'mon, Drama, let's go,"she gets up and follows. But she doesn't stop the fake crying. And I think many people in our local Target much actually think I gave my child the name "Drama." I didn't, but maybe I should have.

LP, if you can believe it, is even more showy. I think it is because her displays of drama are less often, so she just bottles it all up until a random explosion of ugly tantrum-ness.

Like yesterday. When she wanted to go swimming, but she didn't want to put her bathing suit on because she was comfy. She didn't want me to change her, she didn't want to change, she didn't want to wait and change in the locker room, and yet, she still wanted to go swimming and "it" was my fault.

I am not really sure what "it" is or was. But I did find the whole thing silly.

And then irritating. Because even if we weren't going swimming, we still needed to go and pick up AK from day care. So, after putting her coat and shoes on only to have them removed, I carried her to the car, sans coat and shoes, man-handled her into her booster, and drove off.

She loved this, as I am sure you can imagine.

"I wa-wa-wa-want Daddyyyyyyyy."

"We can call Daddy when you calm down, he can't understand you when you are worked up."

"YES HE CAN! You are making my throat hurt!"

"No, LP, you are making your throat hurt by yelling, calm down."

"YOU ARE MAKING MY THROAT HURT BECAUSE YOU ARE MAKING ME YELL! LET ME TALK TO DADDY OR I AM GOING TO BREAK OUT OF THE CAR!"

The Drama continued as I tried to get her coat and shoes on so we could go into the day care center. Red faced and wet-cheeked, we finally made it in and she ran ahead of me calling, "AK! I need a huggy and kissy."

The shocking thing - this is what they can do with only a few years of practice. What happens when they have a decade of stage experience?! Heaven help me. And readers, please assure me I am not alone!

Oh Time! Where Have Ye Gone?

How is it possible that it is already the end of 2011? I am truly dumbfounded.

The year has certainly been eventful, featuring, among other things:

• The girls' first plane experience - to Disneyworld of all places
• Packing! And moving!
• A much needed vacation.
  
• Kindergarten for LP! And a new day care for AK!
• Playdates with new friends!
• Everyone sleeping in until 8:45 on the weekends! People said it would happen eventually, and it really could not have come at a better time.
  

There are still lots of challenges to keep life interesting:

• A merger. And the resulting ongoing integration and work irritation.
• The ongoing struggle to understand and manage the crazy, ductless heating system at our new home.
• Lots and lots of days off and half days thanks to the fabulous, but bizarre public school calendars.
• Making new friends. Sticking my toe in the water a little more all of the time, but haven't taken the big plunge and gone on a double date in the new 'hood yet.

Thing I am looking forward to in 2012:

• My 10 year wedding anniversary
•  Having the girls' birthday party in our backyard 
• Enjoying our water access in the summer 
• Weekend excursions (VT? DC? FL? We'll see!) 
• Summer vacation 
• LP experiencing camp for the first time

Is life perfect? No. Will it ever be? Probably not. But is life good? Heck yeah. Cheers to you all!

So This is Christmas

The holiday spirit is everywhere and, as in years past, this is not lost on LP and AK.

What is different is that this year we are all more involved in the Jewish community - thanks to AK attending the Jewish Community Center for day care and LP going to Sunday school. I am a bit surprised at how much of an impact this has on their holiday season experience.

AK says stuff like, "Mommy why are they already decorated for Christmas? It isn't Christmas yet!" 

And LP chimes in, "Mom, Christmas is only get one day, right? We get eight!"

LP has started eating latkes and both girls request our CD of Chanukah pop songs. And sing along.

They both keep tally of which of their friends are "Christmas people" and "Chanukah people" and the "really lucky friends that celebrate both!"

They couldn't wait to decorate our home for Chanukah and have a party, In fact, I think LP has been making place-settings for a not-planned Chanukah party for several weeks now.

So, dear readers - Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad! Happy Chanukah! Blessed Kwanzaa! Happy Holidays!
 

But...I'm the Mom

Yesterday my mom totally called me out. I was telling her that AK had a random day off this week for teacher training and I was going to take the day off or work from home to cover it because, "I'm the mom."

"Where do you get that from?" she asked.

"What do you mean? I'm the mom."

As she knows, it was not that the Hoos wouldn't do it. I just hadn't asked...

"You didn't learn that from us. Why do you feel the need to do everything?"

At first, I started getting defensive, "Well, he is the primary income earner...I have more flexibility in my job."

And then I realized, she is right.

The Hoos says the same thing. He can help. He wants to help. But I just do stuff without even asking.

Sometimes it is because I "know" that I can just do something faster without giving instructions. Other times it is because I want it done when I want it done and I don't really want to have to wait.

And sometimes I think it is just because, well, I'm the mom...

It is the job, right? How do you guys overcome this?

Oldies but Goodies

Don't you love when you are cleaning out old files and you come across old photos and videos? These aren't great, or even that interesting, but I like them anyway.

LP is in red with the ponytail.

Love Me to Death

I know AK loves me because she tells me she does. A lot. Maybe like 10 times a day. And because she gives me a lot of kisses. And, no I don't really ever get tired of either of these things. I totally accept them both as sincere, even if they aren't (as in "I-love-you-mommy-smooch-now-can-I-have-candy?").

But honestly, the kid causes me physical pain almost as often as she tells me she loves me. I think she has come close to giving me a concussion at least twice in the last week.

One night, as I was laying in bed with her, she suddenly jumped up, head-butting me, because she wanted to switch pillows. It hurt me so much, I yelled out, "OH MY GOSH!"And she cried. But not because it hurt, because I screamed. It amazes me that I see stars and she feels absolutely no pain from the same impact.

For the record, the Hoos was in the next room with LP and did not come running. Later he said he hadn't even heard anything.

Last night I took the girls to the JCC for open swim after school. They have both gotten more independent in the water and wear bubbles, but I still go in with them as an in-water lifeguard. They were having a grand old time (I was freezing!) floating around, jumping in and splashing like crazy while I observed from a safe, central, in-water, spot. All of a sudden, AK jumped in and body slammed my head.

I was standing about a foot from her and a couple of feet below her. I think I got whiplash. I was concerned that AK had broken her solar plexus on my head. It didn't help that she burst into tears. I looked at LP and told her we were leaving. Not loudly, not yelling, but firmly. She understood and quickly came out of the pool. I wanted to get AK into the locker room so that I could check her out and quiet her down (and avoid the dumbfounded stares of the parents watching their kids have swimming lessons).

I whisked them both into the locker room, sat AK down and asked calmly if she was okay or if she was just scared. She looked directly at me and said, "Momma? Are you mad at me?"

So we are all okay... Until the next time AK decides to smother me with her love or guilt me to death.

Losing It!

Okay, folks, I am officially losing control. Not over my bodily functions (that was only when I was pregnant, thank you very much) but over my children's lives.

I am the mom, dang it! I am supposed to be all-knowing and powerful! (Mom, stop laughing..really, it isn't that funny that you wished this experience on me. Thanks.)

It all started when LP had a playdate with a boy from her class. I survived and it was nice and she still talks about how David is one of her "best friends." Which is making me think that I now have to reciprocate. I mean, I do, right? She needs to have more than just one playdate per school year? The challenge is that 1. I work and 2. I don't know how to "run" a playdate! Was that in the mom handbook? Did I miss it when they gave out "What to Expect - the School Years"?!

The Hoos (shockingly) isn't much help. When I asked him if I should see about bringing David home after Sunday school (he and LP are in the same class), he looked at me like I was nuts. "NO! You have his mom bring him over!" But, why? She knows me. Why should we pick our kids up at 12 separately when I can just pick them both up? Am I doing something wrong?

And in case worrying about LP's playdates wasn't enough - yesterday I got an email from the mom of one of AK's friends requesting a playdate for MY THREE YEAR OLD! She actually offered to take AK home from day care for a few hours (since she picks up earlier than I do, I guess).

WHAT?!

Am I a wimp that I would never consider 1. letting someone I have never met take my child home and 2. bringing home a child that I don't really know?

In case you are wondering, I wrote back and told the mom that since AK has never been to a playdate without me, I would like to try to find a time when I could bring her over. Does this make me a control freak? I don't think I am a constantly hovering helicopter mom, but am I?!

Partners in Crime

Check out one of my most favorite pictures of me and the Hoos. Aren't we cute? And young? Look at our hair! So full, so not gray! I would have put up a more recent photo of just the two of us, but I am realizing that I don't really have any. So this will have to suffice.

This weekend we spent three whole days and nights without children. We love our children. A LOT. But it was really nice to be able to run errands and do projects without having to worry about what we weren't doing - namely entertaining the kids. My parents, on the other hand, had their hands full. But I would like to think they loved every minute of THEIR weekend WITH our lovely daughters.

Needless to say it was a very busy and productive weekend. And full of just the sort of ridiculous stuff we did before kids:

1. Meeting for dinner at 7:30pm.
   
2. Selecting a restaurant based on the type of food I was craving (Indian) and its proximity to another errand (see #3)
   
3. Checking out the Swiss Army Warehouse sale - at 8pm, after the crowds had abated. Still crowded but who cared! We had no fear of losing our children in the rush.
4. Going to Home Depot right before closing, buying what we needed and NOT leaving with a whole bunch of "Mickey's" (Disney paint chips).
5. Installing a new faucet in our kitchen - together! While smiling and laughing and focused.
6. Measuring and contemplating purchasing items at IKEA together instead of chasing children through the store.
7. Fitting several large and heavy boxes from IKEA into the car (impossible with car seats and kids).
8. Spending two hours putting said furniture together from IKEA - only realizing we had done it totally wrong!
9. Frantically disassembling furniture so we could rush back to IKEA before it closed and exchange it for one that hadn't been f*&d up by our stupidity. (And shrugging about it instead of fighting and playing the blame game).
10. Eating dinner at a pizza-only joint at 9pm.
11. Assembling furniture for a second time - and staying up until 1:30am to do it. (Mostly so we wouldn't have to do it the next day with our little lovies back under foot).
12. Meeting my friend's beautiful newborn daughter. And getting to hold her for 45 uninterrupted minutes.
    

All of this crazy affirmed:

• That I did, indeed, marry my best friend.
• How nice it is to hold SOMEONE ELSE'S newborn. And it is totally possible to do this without wanting your own.
  

Just Pretend I'm Not Here

Exchange in the car last night:

"AK, tomorrow when mommy and me pick you up, guess what you are going to do?"

"Go swimming?"

"No."

"Go on the playground?"

"No. You are going to run right to me and give me a hug. Don't run to mommy."

"But I love her so much, LP. When I love you so much, I will run to you."

Me, interjecting, "AK, you love LP very much. She is your sister."

"Okay, LP, tomorrow I will run to you."

"Promise?"

"Okay."

"When you promise it means that you really want to do something. Actually, I don't really know what it means, but that is what I think it means. So remember - you promised to run to me tomorrow, not mommy."