All About Me: Day Two

Since yesterday was all about me, let's make today all about me too. Today, the topic is size.

For those of you that have never actually encountered me in person, and for those of you that have, let me remind you that I stand almost exactly at five feet tall. 60 inches is not a lot. And, keep in mind, I am not one of those tiny, tiny short girls. I am petite, but my hips have proven to be good for breeding, my bosom is ample, and my waist is about the same size as my inseam.

When not pregnant the distance between my breasts and pubic bone is about 7 or eight inches. Therefore, when pregnant there are not really a lot of directions for a baby to grow in. Up and the kid hits my ribs (and this baby hits my ribs and lungs, believe me); down, and well, that's not really supposed to happen until the end of the 40 week gestation period. Bun is growing out. I just measured from under my chest to the bottom of my belly and it is about 13 inches. Good thing my skin was already stretched from LP (ah, stretch marks, how I love thee). Yes, I look like there is a ball in my belly. And yes, there is only one baby and yes, I still have about 12 weeks to go, thanks for asking.

I believe I have mentioned before that seven kids in LP's day care class have become or will become older siblings in 2008. That means there are lots of pregnant moms. The other day the Hoos encountered one, "Aim, is Chloe's mom pregnant?" I confirmed his suspicion. "Um, how far along is she?" When I told him that she was due a few days after I was I could see him trying to hide his shock so I said,"She's tall." He began nodding emphatically, "Yes, she really is tall."

You Say "Baby", I Say "Tapeworm"

Last week I was feeling pretty good after my doctor's appointment. Bun was doing well and it turned out that despite the fact that I look bigger, I actually weigh less than I did at the same point in my first pregnancy. And then this week I turned into a human consumption machine. Seriously, I can't stop eating.

A small consolation is that Motherhood Maternity came out with these new jeans that have some sort of lycra built into the band that somehow makes my belly look smaller, higher and even more beautiful. All for $16.95. Does life get better than that? And no, I won't post pictures, you have to take my word for it.

Because, really, right now I look better naked than I look in clothes. How often do you hear someone say that? In maternity clothes I get all of these funky bulges and lumps where the various layers cross over each other. Whoever designed "low rider" pants - for pregnant woman or really anyone - should be shot. In the back. As they try to run away. Because they can't get very far. Because the freaking things will keep falling down...

Honestly, I love my pregnant belly. I love being pregnant. I feel ripe and womanly and feminine and (most days, from the neck down) beautiful. But maybe that is because my face is obscured by some type of frosted carbohydrate...

And Yet...My Arse Grows

Today is another Monday that we sent LP to day care. Once again, being alone in the house makes me highly productive. Especially, I think, my fat cells. Despite the fact that I am going to the doctor today and getting weighed I still felt the need to enjoy mucho mucho carbs, because, well, I could.

Wouldn't it be nice if Mommy junk eating and calorie burning was measured in errands?

Consumed	Calories
Strawberry frosted donut	-10 since consumed while shopping
Onion roll with lunch	-10 from packing, carrying and dropping off clothes to Goodwill an hour before
Rolls at Bertuccis (Sunday lunch)	-10 because sat next to and monitored LP during meal
3 hard pretzels as after-dinner snack	-2, had to clean up crumbs from both me and LP when done
Snapple iced tea	2, burned most while chasing after LP in furniture stores