One thing I do remember is a complete sense of awe after giving birth to LP. The Hoos and I looked at each other in amazement- we had created a person! A person! Two cells - one person! The feeling was the same two years later with the arrival of AK.
Thinking back makes me laugh. We hadn't created a person. We had created a blank slate. Perfect in many many ways - all of the physical parts and the unbounded capacity to learn and grow and be full of life and knowledge and personality.
Today, when I look at LP and AK I am truly overwhelmed. They are smart, strong and independent. They are beautiful - inside and out. They are full of words and thoughts and emotions. Ideas that I can't even fathom.
Oddly enough, I still sometimes find myself at a loss as to why they are behaving a certain way. Much like when they were newborns and parenting was new and all the Hoos and I could do was guess as to the rationale behind a cry. They have words alright--more words than I could have ever imagined--but they too are still learning to express themselves and understand their feelings and the world.
Every day I am more in awe. Even as I type this with my thumbs as the two of them annoy each other upstairs and pick at one another for no apparent reason. We are so proud of them. Their triumphs fulfill me more than my own. They are my biggest triumph.